Can I just say if this life has taught me anything, it should have taught me to always expect the unexpected. So, when this deployment got extended (as they almost always do), I should not have been surprised. While this extension was a shock, my reaction to it was not.
I responded like I’m sure many other spouses do. But as the days turned into weeks, I came to the usual realization: We could be sad, but life had to go on. The kids and I decided to send one care package each week for the next two months, just to make sure he felt how much we missed him. For the first time since our middle son was born, we added links to our deployment countdown chain.
Dare I say, it was fun to see their little faces light up as we hung the links and tore one off each day. Mind you, we still complain about how much we miss Daddy and how we can’t wait for him to come home. But now, we have turned it into a game. We send videos and voice notes to Daddy sharing our day, and we always end with, “Hurry home, Daddy. You have been at work way too long.”
Originally, this deployment was not supposed to be long enough for me to settle into a routine. Six months were supposed to fly by. I was just going to “cry and bear it,” because let’s be honest, there’s no grinning when it comes to deployment. But an 8- to 9-month deployment? That makes you take a hard look at everything.
We were fortunate enough that my husband said, “Whatever you need to make life easier on you, do it.” Remember how I mentioned I was always behind on laundry, dishes and household chores? Well, not anymore.
For Mother’s Day, I was treated to some much-needed help — services to “catch me up.” The biggest unexpected — but maybe I should have expected it — takeaway from this deployment has been realizing our ability, as parents, to make our children feel Daddy’s presence — even from thousands of miles away. He’s always found a way to celebrate the big and small moments with us. He spoils us, even from afar. That’s one unexpected “expectation” I will gladly take any day.
Our sailor is away, keeping us all safe — yet still finds the time to make sure we are more than OK. He’s also helped this seasoned spouse remember this is not her first rodeo. While we may not have a clear end date, deployments do end. As expected, that moment will be one of great celebration. For now, we are impatiently waiting.
So, if you find yourself facing the unexpected “expectations” of this life, know this: We all eventually come out on the other side.
Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of deployment resources and tools tailored to your needs.
