Sydney’s children holding hands

It’s the Faces, Not the Places

Written By Sydney Smith

Have you ever heard two people talking about one duty station in entirely different ways? One person says it was her least favorite assignment, while the other says it was her absolute favorite. Maybe you, yourself, have talked highly about a duty station with another spouse who thought poorly of it, or the other way around. You enjoyed the climate, and she did not, or you thought there was a lot to do there, and she was bored. In a lot of instances, I really believe it comes down to the community a person finds that makes or breaks the experience. It’s the people who we meet and spend our time with who make the most memorable impressions on the places we go.

Sometimes as military spouses, it can feel like we live many different lives as we pack up and move to new places, starting over again, and when I reflect on what it is that we leave behind each time, I realize it’s the faces, not the places…

When I think back on our time at Fort Hood, I don’t remember the blue lakes, bluebonnets, barbecue and Austin adventures the same way I do the girl who lived three houses down — who stood beside me with endless support while my first child was born, who celebrated more “firsts” with me that first year than my own husband. She was the girl who became my best friend, who dropped off surprise donuts on my birthday, and would drop everything and go to the outlet mall with me on a random Tuesday morning. I don’t remember the big thunderstorms or Texas flags or the fire ants like I do the girl who smiled at me across the Sunday school room, inviting us to lunch, or the older lady who took me under her wing and filled me with so much wisdom about marriage and raising babies, and quickly became my “Texas mom.”

When I think back to our time at Fort Bragg, I don’t remember the charming little town of Southern Pines or our favorite crepe shop and playground, or the little farms and fruit stands the same way I do the girl who invited us over for lunch often and fed my family and took care of my children as if they were her own. I can’t feel the humid summer breeze the same way I can remember the feeling I got from the kindness in her eyes and the magic she brought from the simplest things. I can’t remember the sound of the buzzing mosquitoes or the foaming ocean waves the way I can hear her whispers of motherhood wisdom and her giddy laugh as she showed me constantly how to love life and find joy in the little things.

When I think back on our time at Joint Base Lewis-McChord, I don’t see picturesque views in my mind of Mount Rainier or the blue waters of Crescent Lake. What I do see is the set of sympathetic blue eyes of an older woman as I confided in her during the hardest time I’ve ever experienced in my marriage. I don’t remember our hikes or adventures the way I do her invitations for a walk or coffee. When I look back on our time there, I don’t hear the orca’s snorting or bumblebees buzzing by on summer afternoons. I hear her voice checking in on me, speaking the truth into my soul. I don’t remember the color of the elementary school building or the pretty flowers along the path to walk there, but I do remember my son’s kindergarten teacher and her vibrant energy and how much love she gave my child. I don’t remember the lakes or the splash pads or low tide exploration days the same way I do the friends’ faces who joined me in all of those places.

As we look back on the places we have been, it is often the faces we remember most. For it is the people who influence and shape our lives and friendships and who truly make a place feel like home.

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of moving and housing resources and tools tailored to your needs.

2025 graduation cap tassel

Three Ways To Prepare for College Freshman Year

Written By Dawn Smith

Our daughter’s high school graduation, thankfully, is in the family’s rearview mirror. For me, it was a celebration that I hoped to move through as gracefully as possible. I knew all the feelings would hit in the months and days leading up to the big day. I just didn’t know when they would pop up — making for some unexpected tears during car rides, grocery shopping, and pick-ups and drop-offs at the fun last-day-of-school senior events.

Admittedly, I am happy to have this melancholy milestone behind us so that the focus can turn to the exciting transition into college. When the end of August arrives, I will take comfort in the fact that we’ve done everything we can do to set our girl off on the right track. Whether it’s searching for the perfect XL Twin sheets or ensuring all her GI Bill documents are in place. These are the tasks that I hope will bring me peace as my husband and I face becoming empty nesters.

Now, for sure, these aren’t things that Mom and Dad do alone; our burgeoning adult needs to learn to advocate for herself. For now, we’re teaching her to navigate boring adult things like health care and finances.

1. Health care. Luckily, our daughter isn’t moving out of our current TRICARE boundaries, so we won’t need to switch regions. We’ll try to schedule routine doctor’s visits during breaks and over the summer, but she’ll need to learn the ins and outs of local services like pharmacies, urgent care and emergency room visits.

You can review the Going to College page on TRICARE and familiarize yourself with the mental health services offered by Military OneSource, so it’s an easy call to make if your child could benefit from that support during a typically stressful time in their lives.

Keep in mind that once your child turns 18, most health-related activities become restricted viewing, so parents will need legal documents that allow access to medical records.

You can read more about these documents in 7 Important Documents Your Senior Needs Before College.

2. College funding. Over the last two years, we’ve become a lot more knowledgeable about the various benefits of dependents’ college tuition. We’re grateful that my husband transferred his benefits to our daughter years ago, but the process wasn’t without hiccups, especially since she only recently turned 18, and it was challenging to receive her Certificate of Eligibility.

It takes time to understand, transfer and implement the GI Bill, so my best advice is to become very close with the personnel at your student’s college’s veterans and military affairs offices. The officials there are a wealth of information. Talk with them before the tuition bills are released and classes start to make sure everything is in order.

If you’re new to college funding, Learning How to Pay for College Using Military Benefits will point you in the right direction.

These are also helpful resources:

3. Budgeting for college life. I was recently humbled by my Gen Z daughter while trying to explain the old way of balancing a checkbook with a calculator and a pencil. She couldn’t conceive of a time when a banking phone app wouldn’t automatically report the balance, which led me to discuss the rare occasion when she might need to account for written checks that would eventually be cashed.

There’s a lot to discuss with your student about spending money before move-in day. Some families insist on part-time jobs, others provide allowances, and still others hand over a credit card for “emergencies.” Setting clear expectations before freedom sets in is just one way to secure financial readiness.

Budgeting for Beginners is a great place to start teaching your student the basics of personal finance.

Good luck to the students and parents of the college Class of 2029!

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of education resources and tools tailored to your needs.

 

Lizann’s children with a backpack on

Tips for Military Facing School Milestones and Moves

Written By Lizann Lightfoot

As a mom of five military kids, I’ve led my crew through countless first days of school, new classrooms, and bittersweet milestones across nearly two decades of my husband’s Marine Corps career. During six PCS moves, from preschools to high schools, East Coast, West Coast and overseas — I’ve lost track of the number of school buildings, teachers and mascots we’ve encountered. After 23 years, my husband retired from the military, and we’ve recently settled into our final school district. This fall, as my youngest graduates preschool and steps into kindergarten, it feels like a monumental moment and a bittersweet celebration. I’m reflecting on the wild ride of raising military kids and sharing tips to help other military spouses navigate school milestones with confidence.

Like many military families, we moved every two to three years. Each relocation brought a new school, new curriculum and new challenges. From Gulf Coast middle schools to overseas DoDEA programs, every location had its own required courses and transcripts. Keeping up was exhausting, especially as my kids hit middle school, where mismatched state curriculum meant scrambling to catch up, no matter how strong their grades were. Through every move, my kids showed the gumption military families know so well. They worked hard, tried new things and became well-rounded students. Now, as my youngest heads to kindergarten in our new hometown, I’m celebrating her growth and the end of a journey that began with my oldest 14 years and four states ago.

Lizann’s daughter holding up a first day of school sign

Whether it’s your child’s first day of kindergarten or they’re moving up to the next school building, here are some tips I’ve learned to make school moves smoother and milestones more joyful:

  1. Acknowledge the emotional toll. Don’t assume your kids will be just fine starting at a new school building because they’re “so resilient.” Change gets harder as kids grow, especially when they’re leaving friends behind. Talk openly about their fears and frustrations. Research the new school together by checking out sports, clubs or activities they might love. Planning can ease the transition.
  2. Build a school binder. When teachers don’t know your child, it can take months to identify weaknesses or figure out new homework routines. Get introductions and reference letters from previous teachers to speed up the transition. Continuously update a binder with each child’s recent report cards, transcripts and work samples, plus recommendations from favorite teachers. This binder is a lifesaver for surprise PCS moves but is also useful when advocating for advanced classes.
  3. Hand-carry essential documents. When moving, keep critical paperwork with you: birth certificates, social security cards, proof of residency (like a lease or utility bill), and military orders listing family members. I used a binder with plastic sleeves for baseball cards to organize everything. At one school, the registrar laughed and said, “I can tell you’re a military family — you’re so prepared!” Don’t risk packing these in moving boxes. It could delay school enrollment at a time when your child needs to know their new normal after a move.
  4. Contact the school liaison officer. Most military communities have a designated SLO whose job is helping military families navigate school transitions. They know local laws, can spot transcript gaps and explain enrollment for special programs. Some even connect your child with other military kids for a friendly first-day lunch buddy. Reach out early so they can answer your questions!
  5. Learn local traditions. Every region has unique school customs, and they matter to your kids. I learned this the hard way when my oldest graduated elementary school in California, and I didn’t know parents traditionally gifted lei necklaces made of dollar bills and paper flowers. She was the only kid without one, and I felt awful. Ask other parents about local traditions for any milestone, especially for middle and high school events, to help your child feel included.
  6. Celebrate (and maybe cry over) the milestones. When your military child hits a big milestone, it’s a huge deal — for them and you. For your child, it’s a proud step forward — a testament to their strength as a military kid. For you, it’s okay to get misty-eyed. This is your baby! Cry if you want to, but throw a little celebration, too. You’ve both worked hard to get here.

Lizann’s daughter as a baby in a moving box

As I prepare to send my youngest to kindergarten, I’m filled with pride and a touch of disbelief. She’ll never be a new kid again! This feels like the closing of a chapter that spanned years, states and countless first days. Military life taught us to adapt, to find joy in new beginnings and to lean on our community. To all the military spouses facing your own school milestones: You’ve got this. With a little prep, a lot of heart and maybe a few tears, you and your kids will conquer this next adventure together.

Lizann’s whole family smiling

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of parenting resources and tools tailored to your needs.

Featured Topics

Man sitting with dog on dock

PCS Prep

woman meditating

Self-Care