Kristi’s family outside posing in front of a bridge

What I’ll Take With Me After Military Retirement

Written By Kristi Stolzenberg

Early in our marriage, I recall folding laundry and wondering why my husband had so many green boot socks. Not an excessive amount — just no two pairs the same. Who decided boot socks needed such variety?

Seventeen years later, I’m still cursing those mismatched socks — sometimes under my breath, sometimes not — as I fold endless piles of Marine-green undershirts, silkies and flight suits (always with a pen or earplugs in the one pocket we missed). When my husband retires at the end of the year, I won’t miss any of the laundry. Honestly, not matching those socks might be the part I’m most excited about.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little sad to leave Marine Corps life. It’s been a part of my husband’s world for 20 years, mine for 17, and all our kids have ever known. Thinking of leaving behind the traditions and built-in community makes me a little teary. I won’t be walking away empty-handed, and I don’t just mean my collection of squadron t-shirts.

Kristi’s family hugging each other on the airport runway

When the day comes, I’ll be taking a few things with me:

  • The stubbornness. Call it strength or hardheadedness, but this life has sharpened my inability to give up, back down or assume someone else will solve the problem. My family says I was born that way — fiercely independent and not willing to take “no” for an answer — but military life gave me the environment to turn that trait into a skill.
  • The resourcefulness. When something needs to get done, I figure it out — usually because I refuse to ask for help 99% of the time. Sometimes as a military spouse, there isn’t someone to ask. During my husband’s deployment, I needed a ladder to paint the tippy top of our living room walls, so I built a (very sturdy) pyramid out of kitchen chairs. When a movie got stuck right before hosting a holiday night for squadron spouses, I cracked open the player and saved the night. Where there’s a will — and there usually is — I’ll find the way.
  • The friends. There’s no bond like a trauma bond. Military life puts you through it, and you learn quickly who shows up and sticks around. To those friends, no amount of stubbornness or resourcefulness replaces the need for you. You’re stuck with me — my husband got a new job!
  • The appreciation. Coming from a family where so many relatives served in the military, I grew up appreciating the sacrifice. I’ve learned firsthand that the entire family serves in some capacity. Even after I am no longer a military spouse, I will always be grateful for those who wear the uniform and those who love, support, worry about, and follow them around from installation to installation.
  • The travel bug. Once our kids were born, I felt an urge to show them the world, and, boy, the Marine Corps gave me a major assist. From the Riverwalk to the Golden Gate Bridge, to Diamond Head, the monuments of D.C., and the shrines and castles of Japan, we have been blessed to check so many bucket-list places off our list. I have no plans to slow down.
  • The stories, even the weird ones. How could I forget when our mover packed the roast beef sandwich we bought him for lunch? I can still (unfortunately) smell the box that sat all summer in non-climate-controlled storage. From losing my retainer during our first PCS to still wondering what happened to the lid of my large saucepan in our last, each move left its mark. There are memories that bring belly laughs, great pride and moments where friends became family.

Our family’s wild ride is coming to an end, and it’s bittersweet. My husband’s next career will be his, not our entire family’s lifestyle. We’re stepping into this new chapter together, and this writer is excited to start the next page.

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of retirement resources and tools tailored to your needs.

Lizann’s family sitting on a tree

Summer Plans When You Don’t Feel Like Planning Leave

Written By Lizann Lightfoot

Military life often does not cooperate with your vacation plans. Sure, we would love to go on a cruise or visit that resort location. We can’t do it now because of a deployment, and next year isn’t looking good because of a likely PCS move… so maybe after military retirement?

Often, service members use their precious leave blocks to visit family back home, get some downtime after deployment or take time off during a cross-country move. When summer rolls around, they may not have the option to take a week off to visit the beach or take an exotic vacation.

If your military family is like mine, we have spent a lot of summers going without a week-long vacation. Sometimes, we just didn’t have the extra funds for a big trip, like when our savings were drained after a PCS move. Other years, the thought of traveling with multiple young children exhausted me, so I preferred to stay closer to home. There were plenty of times we wanted to do something fun, but we also wanted to save my husband’s leave days.

Our favorite solution is mini breaks. They are less costly, involve minimal travel and still provide relaxing experiences. During the years we don’t take a summer vacation, I still need to find small ways to take a break and give myself something to look forward to. Here are some smaller, more affordable activities that can help you make family memories without taking a long leave block.

Lizann’s family in front of a mountain

  • Go camping: Spending time outdoors is a unique experience that builds lasting memories, even if you only stay for one night. Many military bases have affordable campsites with playgrounds or kayak rentals nearby. National parks allow service members to enter for free (some may have additional camp reservation fees). If you don’t have camping gear, check out your base outdoor/recreation office. They typically rent supplies like tents, campers, coolers and fishing equipment. Your family can try something new and grow closer together on a quick weekend trip to a scenic location.
  • Visit a Blue Star Museum: From May to September, hundreds of museums across the country offer free admission to military families as part of the Blue Star Museum program, which is a partnership between the National Endowment for the Arts and Blue Star Families. This is a great opportunity to check out some of the unique museums near your duty station or along your PCS move route. Check the full list on their website to see the options near you.
  • Connect with military friends: Want a quick getaway that will refresh you without breaking the bank? Take a weekend road trip to visit a military friend! If you stay in touch with friends from each duty station, you will soon have a network of friends scattered around the country. Talk to one in driving distance and ask if you or your family could visit for a weekend. You’ll likely get a resounding “Yes!” and provide some entertainment for their summer, too.
  • Explore the local area: When you need to get out of the house but don’t have time or money for long getaways and hotel stays, take the opportunity to become a tourist in your hometown. What are the landmarks, parks, museums or events that are featured on the local city’s website? Get the family involved and have everyone pick a new local location to explore. Pop into the main street stores and support small businesses. Try a new mom-and-pop restaurant. Sometimes those hole-in-the-wall places that are only known to locals are the real gems. Trying new environments brings the family closer together and helps you create shared memories of your experiences.
  • Invite relatives to visit: Want to liven up the summer? Host some visitors and show them around, seeing your military base through their eyes. Siblings and grandparents are usually patient enough to endure your everyday family life during visits, so this is a great solution for breaking up summer monotony if you are parenting young children. Plus, it turns you briefly into a tourist and tour guide, so you’ll come away with a fresh appreciation for your military town.
  • Amusement park getaway: No matter where you are stationed, you can get discounted tickets to major amusement parks throughout the country. Check with your base ITT (Information, Tickets and Travel) office to see a complete list of their discounted offers for local events, amusement parks and national destinations. Spend a weekend at one of these wild adventure locations for an experience your family won’t soon forget!

No matter your budget or how limited you are to request military leave, your family can still have a lot of fun this summer! I hope you’ll try some of the ideas on this list and start making new memories soon. Enjoy your mini break planning!

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness and connection. Explore a range of recreation, travel and shopping resources tailored to your needs.

Lizann’s family in front of the ocean

Kristi’s daughter giving thumbs up and down to decorations

There’s No Cardboard in Sight

Written By Kristi Stolzenberg

It usually hits around the halfway point at a duty station — that itch to change things up. With plenty of time left before my next PCS, I look for ways to scratch the itch without actually packing up and moving.

While the nomadic military lifestyle is an excellent scapegoat for why I am the way I am, the truth is that I’ve always been like this. It was not unusual for little 8-, 9- or 10-year-old me to have a free Saturday and have the urge to rearrange my bedroom. It might start by moving my poster to another wall, and it would escalate to moving my CD tower. In no time at all, I would summon Herculean strength and scoot my full-size bed across the room and fill its former spot with my dresser using the tried-and-true method of pressing my back against the side of the dresser and backward squat-walking until I reached the other side. I would often work late into the night to the soundtrack of whatever reruns cable television was playing at that hour.

House walls being painted

So, is it any wonder that with every household goods delivery I work solo through the night (the only time a parent can work without interruption), arranging furniture and thoughtfully placing dishes in kitchen cabinets? I love seeing blank rooms become comfortable, familiar, functional spaces — it’s my ultimate hobby. I look forward to the change and the challenge, so military life — with its naturally temporary style — has suited me well.

Then along came the full stop. There’s no PCS on the calendar, and no “next house” in sight (at least not one outside of Hypothetical Land, USA). We find ourselves now in an interesting limbo, where we know this is our final duty station, recognize it’s the right move to stay put after retirement to allow the kids to finish high school, and agree that this home is not our “forever home.” With two years under the belt, there are six years to go in this house. That’s a lot of years for someone who is ready for a refresh after a few months.

In those two years at our current, long-term, but not forever home, I’ve already painted four rooms and upgraded light fixtures. We’ve added a deck on the back, and I’ve poured myself into the landscaping. At this pace, I am on track to escalate to adding a third story or something equally ridiculous. I am going to need to pace myself and find ways to quench that thirst for change without being able to change ZIP codes.

Kristi’s furniture

Who Needs Cardboard Anyway?

If you’re on team “I Hate Moving,” I probably lost you many paragraphs ago, but from the very (not at all) official research I conducted in preparing this blog, I don’t think I’m alone. Whether we came into this military life welcoming change or we’ve been conditioned through a cadence of pack-PCS-unpack-repeat, it’s anticipated, and our part in it becomes almost muscle memory. For those of us in a long PCS pause or a permanent PCS pause, I have a toolbox of tricks that have been effective substitutions for a full-blown move while making our current home even more ours:

  • Home Improvements and Additions: If you own your current home, you can DIY or enlist a professional, but the result is the same. You get to create or improve something around your home while improving its value. Based on your interest and ability, there are plenty of things to tackle, from replacing light fixtures or flooring to upgrading appliances to tackling aesthetic upgrades.
  • Paint or Wallpaper: Speaking of DIY, switching up the walls is a cost-effective way to make a big impact in just a weekend.
  • Gardening: Talk about a change that just keeps evolving; you can channel so much creative energy into creating an outdoor space you love and kick back and watch it grow throughout the years (when you aren’t pulling weeds, of course).
  • Deep Cleaning: A perk of moving every few years is the PCS purge. There’s no rule that says these deep cleanouts are reserved just for moving. Cleaning out a closet or a junk drawer is the ultimate refresh, and it will keep you from accumulating too much “stuff” while staying put.
  • Refreshing and Rearranging: Taking a page out of childhood Kristi’s playbook, it is totally possible to make a room feel brand new to you while it largely stays the same. Rearrange the living room, a bedroom here and there, or even reorganize the kitchen cabinets if you need to improve functionality while simultaneously frustrating your family as they search for a plate. If your budget allows, you can go a step further by adding something new to the equation: a new rug, comforter, piece of furniture, throw blanket, etc.

Speaking to myself here and anyone else who is also now wondering if the living room needs an accent wall: There are so many ways to keep our current place from getting stale. They may not be as extreme as moving, but on the bright side, there is no pile of packing paper and boxes to deal with, and I am here for that!

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of moving and housing resources tailored to your needs.

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