Building Community at a New Duty Station
As a military spouse, I’ve been the “new kid on the block” more times than I can count. Each PCS move drops you into a new neighborhood, a new base and a new life where you’re starting from scratch. It can feel lonely, especially when your spouse is deployed or working nights, or if you’re living far from family.
Military spouses are some of the most creative and welcoming people you’ll ever meet. With a little effort, you can turn strangers into friends and build a community that makes any duty station feel like home. Here’s my favorite tried-and-true ways to connect with other military spouses and families, perfect for summer or fall vibes.
Game Nights: Roll the Dice on New Friendships
One of my favorite ways to make friends is hosting a game night. My husband and I have made incredible friends by discovering shared interests in games and inviting people over for snacks and fun. Whether it’s a card game, a board game, an escape-room-style puzzle to solve together, or a silly party game, it’s always full of laughs. Game nights are low-pressure, and they give you a chance to bond over shared victories (or epic defeats). Pro tip: keep a mix of quick games and longer ones, suitable for different size groups, and ask guests to bring their favorite game to share.
Potlucks: The Taste of Community
Potlucks are a military spouse’s secret weapon, especially during holidays or deployments. Everyone brings one dish, so no one’s stuck with the stress of cooking a full meal or hosting solo. Plus, military life means you’re surrounded by people from all over, so you get to try dishes from different cultures — think lumpia, cornbread casserole or tamales. I attended a potluck for Thanksgiving when my husband was deployed, and I had three kids under the age of 4. The shared food and conversation made me feel connected on a holiday I would not have been able to pull off by myself. For summer, try a backyard barbecue potluck. As fall rolls in, a cozy chili cook-off or a “harvest” potluck with pumpkin-themed dishes can warm up cooler evenings.
Playdates: For Kids and Moms
When I left my job to stay home with our babies at a remote duty station, playdates became my lifeline. I’ll be honest: planning them was as much for me as it was for my toddlers’ social development. Some mornings, the promise of caffeine with another mom was the only reason I got out of bed or cleaned up the living room. Playdates helped me connect. Those casual meetups grew into warm friendships. Set up a rotating playdate group at the park, splash pad or your backyard — perfect for summer! For fall, try indoor activities like crafts or dress-ups. The kids will burn energy, and you’ll get to chat with other parents who understand military life.
Seasonal Ways to Gather
Summer and fall offer endless opportunities for casual, community-building events. Host a fire pit gathering in your backyard — roast marshmallows, share stories and let the kids run around with glow sticks. It’s low-effort and perfect for warm summer nights or crisp fall evenings. Another classic is a neighborhood “movie under the stars.” Borrow a projector, hang a sheet, and screen a family-friendly flick with blankets and popcorn. These events are relaxed and inclusive and give everyone a chance to connect without much planning.
You’ve Got This!
Moving to a new duty station can feel like stepping into the unknown, but you’re not alone. Military spouses are experts at building community, and you can be too. Every game night, playdate or potluck is a chance to turn strangers into your people. So, grab some snacks, roll the dice or fire up the grill — your next best friend might be just across the street. Here’s to creating memories, sharing laughs and making every PCS move a little less lonely!
Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of moving resources and tools tailored to your needs.