Imagine you PCS’d in August and are just now disposing of the last few moving boxes and bits of packing paper. You breathe a sigh of relief — you’re home and getting settled in. Then suddenly you start hearing from family members wondering if you’re coming home for Thanksgiving. Or they let you know they’d like to visit you for Thanksgiving. At the exchange, you notice the place is brimming with holiday décor, and it’s not even Halloween yet. Your PCS stress may be fading, but holiday stress is beginning to brew.
Whether worn out from your recent PCS, tied down by duty schedules or deployments, or separated by more miles than you could travel over the holiday weekend, the idea of “going home” for Thanksgiving — or having home come to you — can feel as far-fetched as a Hallmark movie plot.
If traveling home feels out of reach this year — or if the military has decided for you — there are still ways to celebrate that can either tide you over until next year or even become your new Thanksgiving tradition.
Regional Travel
This is a personal favorite of mine. You’re probably thinking, “If we can’t travel home, how could we travel anywhere else?” Valid, but let’s say you’re stationed overseas or on the other side of the country from family. While traveling hundreds or thousands of miles may not be possible, a trip an hour or two away is manageable — especially during school and work breaks.
During the Thanksgiving holiday, our family traveled to Sonoma, California, while stationed in California; Vietnam and Thailand while stationed in Japan; and a tiny mountain town in West Virginia while stationed in Virginia. These trips are among some of my favorite Thanksgivings — exploring new places with my favorite people and no dry turkey in sight. If there’s a nearby destination calling your name, give this a try. If you really miss the Thanksgiving spread, you can make it any other day of the year — it’s allowed, I promise.
Friendsgiving
Friendsgiving is like a traditional Thanksgiving, but it’s celebrated with friends who can’t be with their families. The group might decide to have a full Thanksgiving meal potluck-style, dine out at a restaurant, or just get together for dessert.
While the rest of the world might see this as a strange concept, in the military we know all about the “family we choose.” We bond with our military family over separations, PCS’s, and other military-life headaches, both large and small. Our military family is a perk of our lifestyle you won’t see on a Leave and Earning Statement. These deep friendships are often the reason we look back on a duty station as “the good old days.”
Spending a holiday with friends at your duty station is convenient and can be much easier than going home for turkey day. Your military friends know what you’re going through — the highlights and the stressors — so conversation can flow significantly smoother than explaining to a relative you only see every couple of years why you don’t know where you’re moving next.
The Thanksgiving when our family wasn’t jet-setting in Japan, we attended a Friendsgiving. Believe me, I went heels dragging, but that gathering is something that puts a smile on my face when I think back. There’s just nothing like a group of people — all in the same boat, far from home — coming together, enjoying the tastes of home, making memories together, and finding more than enough to be thankful for. If you’ve got a group of friends, large or small, sticking around for Thanksgiving, toss the idea out there!
Celebrating Solo
At first glance, celebrating any holiday alone, whether it’s just you, your immediate family, or your family minus your service member, sounds sad, right? Especially a holiday that includes the amount of side dishes Thanksgiving brings to the table. (I have to slip the puns in; I just do.) Let’s find the silver lining in this situation because, as we know better than most, sometimes facing a holiday alone is the only option.
As is the mantra of military life, it’s what you make it, so if you’re spending Thanksgiving solo, make it count by trying something new. Attend a local event, take a hike, volunteer, drop food off at the barracks or service members on duty, or just make it a day of your favorite things — foods, movies, you name it! You can always make plans to celebrate earlier or later when you can have friends or family with you.
There’s Always Next Year
The one constant of military life is change. If whatever nontraditional Thanksgiving option you try this year doesn’t pan out, try something different next year. However you spend the day, make it memorable, and remember that there’s always something to be thankful for. On this wild ride, I’m thankful for the friends who feel like family that we’ve made along the way and the incredible places the Marine Corps has allowed us to explore. These gifts make it hard to complain about the solo holidays (though I find a way, never fear) and missing “home.”
