As a mom of five military kids, I’ve led my crew through countless first days of school, new classrooms, and bittersweet milestones across nearly two decades of my husband’s Marine Corps career. During six PCS moves, from preschools to high schools, East Coast, West Coast and overseas — I’ve lost track of the number of school buildings, teachers and mascots we’ve encountered. After 23 years, my husband retired from the military, and we’ve recently settled into our final school district. This fall, as my youngest graduates preschool and steps into kindergarten, it feels like a monumental moment and a bittersweet celebration. I’m reflecting on the wild ride of raising military kids and sharing tips to help other military spouses navigate school milestones with confidence.
Like many military families, we moved every two to three years. Each relocation brought a new school, new curriculum and new challenges. From Gulf Coast middle schools to overseas DoDEA programs, every location had its own required courses and transcripts. Keeping up was exhausting, especially as my kids hit middle school, where mismatched state curriculum meant scrambling to catch up, no matter how strong their grades were. Through every move, my kids showed the gumption military families know so well. They worked hard, tried new things and became well-rounded students. Now, as my youngest heads to kindergarten in our new hometown, I’m celebrating her growth and the end of a journey that began with my oldest 14 years and four states ago.
Whether it’s your child’s first day of kindergarten or they’re moving up to the next school building, here are some tips I’ve learned to make school moves smoother and milestones more joyful:
- Acknowledge the emotional toll. Don’t assume your kids will be just fine starting at a new school building because they’re “so resilient.” Change gets harder as kids grow, especially when they’re leaving friends behind. Talk openly about their fears and frustrations. Research the new school together by checking out sports, clubs or activities they might love. Planning can ease the transition.
- Build a school binder. When teachers don’t know your child, it can take months to identify weaknesses or figure out new homework routines. Get introductions and reference letters from previous teachers to speed up the transition. Continuously update a binder with each child’s recent report cards, transcripts and work samples, plus recommendations from favorite teachers. This binder is a lifesaver for surprise PCS moves but is also useful when advocating for advanced classes.
- Hand-carry essential documents. When moving, keep critical paperwork with you: birth certificates, social security cards, proof of residency (like a lease or utility bill), and military orders listing family members. I used a binder with plastic sleeves for baseball cards to organize everything. At one school, the registrar laughed and said, “I can tell you’re a military family — you’re so prepared!” Don’t risk packing these in moving boxes. It could delay school enrollment at a time when your child needs to know their new normal after a move.
- Contact the school liaison officer. Most military communities have a designated SLO whose job is helping military families navigate school transitions. They know local laws, can spot transcript gaps and explain enrollment for special programs. Some even connect your child with other military kids for a friendly first-day lunch buddy. Reach out early so they can answer your questions!
- Learn local traditions. Every region has unique school customs, and they matter to your kids. I learned this the hard way when my oldest graduated elementary school in California, and I didn’t know parents traditionally gifted lei necklaces made of dollar bills and paper flowers. She was the only kid without one, and I felt awful. Ask other parents about local traditions for any milestone, especially for middle and high school events, to help your child feel included.
- Celebrate (and maybe cry over) the milestones. When your military child hits a big milestone, it’s a huge deal — for them and you. For your child, it’s a proud step forward — a testament to their strength as a military kid. For you, it’s okay to get misty-eyed. This is your baby! Cry if you want to, but throw a little celebration, too. You’ve both worked hard to get here.
As I prepare to send my youngest to kindergarten, I’m filled with pride and a touch of disbelief. She’ll never be a new kid again! This feels like the closing of a chapter that spanned years, states and countless first days. Military life taught us to adapt, to find joy in new beginnings and to lean on our community. To all the military spouses facing your own school milestones: You’ve got this. With a little prep, a lot of heart and maybe a few tears, you and your kids will conquer this next adventure together.
Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of parenting resources and tools tailored to your needs.
