My Personal Journey Through Counseling
For the past several months, I’ve been sitting across from a counselor on a video call each week, untangling the messy threads of my life—challenging family dynamics that have simmered for years, now intensified by my husband’s transition out of the military. Counseling has been a lifeline, a place to spill the pent-up frustrations and fears I’d buried deep. It’s also been hard, soul-stirring work that demands raw honesty and a willingness to evolve. Here’s what I’ve learned about the benefits and struggles of this journey—and why I’d urge anyone, especially military families, to explore free confidential counseling through Military OneSource.
The Healing Power of Counseling
When my husband left the military after 23 years, our world tilted. The rapid changes of PCS moves and deployments were replaced by uncertainty about jobs, finances, and where we’d plant roots. Layered on top were old family wounds—resentments and frustrations with the family I grew up in as well as with my marriage. Despite years of writing hundreds of articles and even several books for the military spouse community, I felt like I was drowning in unspoken words. Counseling gave me permission to let them out.
In sessions, my counselor didn’t judge or rush me; he just listened. Then he would offer feedback and advice that helped connect the dots of the various ways I felt hurt. That simple act of being heard started stitching up a wound I didn’t realize was still bleeding. Over weeks, I began to see patterns—how I’d bottled up anger to keep the peace throughout military life, only to feel it fester. Releasing it was messy but freeing, like shaking dust off a rug I’d ignored for years.
The Challenges of Counseling
Healing isn’t all catharsis. It’s also a mirror, and sometimes I didn’t like what I saw. One of the hardest moments came when my counselor asked, “In all those years, what did you sacrifice? How has that sacrifice served you?” I realized I’d been shutting down instead of speaking up, letting resentment build until it erupted in sharp words or cold silences. Admitting that stung. It meant I wasn’t just a victim of circumstances, I had work to do.
The process itself tests your grit. Some days, I’d drag myself to a session after a sleepless night, the kids’ tantrums echoing in my head, wondering if I could keep peeling back these layers. Once, I almost canceled because I knew we’d talk about my husband’s choices since leaving the service—a topic I’d rather avoid. Showing up, even when it hurt, chipped away at the walls I’d built. It’s not a quick fix; it’s a slow burn, and that patience is both the challenge and the reward.
Encouraging Others to Seek Help
If my story resonates, I want you to know counseling isn’t a white flag—it’s a battle cry for a better you. Military OneSource offers free, confidential counseling for families like mine, tailored to the wild ride of military life—deployments, transitions, or just the weight of holding it all together. I stumbled across it when a friend mentioned it over coffee, and it’s been a game-changer. No cost, no stigma—just support.
Counseling doesn’t stand alone, though. My husband and I started talking more—really talking—after I shared bits of my sessions. I started reaching out, seeking new friends and local opportunities to help me navigate post-military life. I discovered my Bible study at a civilian church far from any military base had numerous military kids and military spouses in attendance. These connections bolstered what I was learning in counseling, reminding me that healing thrives in community.
Healing, One Step at a Time
Counseling has been a paradox: soothing old hurts while prodding me to grow. I’ve cried over childhood slights I’d dismissed, faced my own stubbornness, and started rebuilding bridges—one shaky conversation at a time. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.
If you’re teetering on the edge of seeking help, take the leap. Military OneSource is there, free and waiting, but so are other paths if that’s not your fit. You don’t have to carry it alone. Counseling taught me that healing isn’t linear—it’s a winding road, paved with hard truths and quiet victories. Step by step, it’s leading me toward a stronger, steadier me.
Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of mental health resources tailored to your needs.
