You truly don’t understand the misery of it until you experience it… having sick kids, that is. It’s more than just having sick kids. It’s having whiny kids, clingy kids, snotty kids… all of that on top of putting your life and routine on hold while you isolate them from the rest of the world, because you wouldn’t dare bring this sickness upon another family. Your kids are the worst version of themselves, and you can’t leave your house. Does it get much worse?
Earlier this fall, I thought I would be proactive and create a “sick caddy” with children’s pain reliever, fever reducer, throat lozenges, pediatric mentholated chest patches, and our trusted ear thermometer. I thought that maybe if I was ready for sick season this year (if there is such a thing), I would jinx it and we’d get through the next few months with maybe a few coughs and sniffles, and that would be it.
Fast forward to a few weeks later, my daughter tested positive for influenza A, and the doctor at urgent care informed us we were the first case they’d seen yet this season. Sick season was off to a great start for us.
While we wish we could have left all the germs behind with the urgent care facility, the flu came home with us and quickly overtook my husband, who became bedridden with an almost 104-degree fever for days. All I could do was pray none of the rest of us got it.
Well, just as my luck failed with what I thought was the preventative medicine caddy, I would also soon be disappointed to realize that the flu had taken down 5/5 of us, as slowly and drawn out as possible. My biggest regret about this experience was honestly not just passing around a lollipop to each member of the family to get it over quickly. This would have helped us avoid at least a few of the very long 14 consecutive days of misery confined in our home with illness.
By the latter half of our time stuck at home, I was slowly going insane, and I realized I needed to take some notes for next time… remembering things I needed to do better, or mindsets or tools that were helping us survive in that moment. I knew deep down that I wasn’t “special.” Every parent eventually goes through something like this at least once (probably multiple times). It was my hope that perhaps, in my desperate state, I might be able to come up with some simple tips for hope and encouragement for other parents finding themselves stuck at home with sick kids in the future.
So, here are some things I learned:
- The sick caddy was great. While it didn’t prevent illness like I’d hoped, I was very appreciative when it came to good use. To assemble a sick caddy, simply buy a small plastic bin and the medicines of your choosing. I stocked ours with common over-the-counter medicines for young children. I also added some throat-soothing lollipops, some mentholated chest patches and a thermometer. I even stuck a little notepad and pen in there for an easy way to record the times I administered medicine to each child. It can get very complicated when you are giving different types and amounts of medications to multiple children, especially in the middle of the night. Take notes!
- Give yourself grace. Your life isn’t normal right now, so let go of the normalcy you try to maintain. You just put your routine on pause, and you can put your screen time limits on hold as well. Do you normally try to prepare fresh and healthy food for the week, and do you prefer to eat from real dishes? Well, this isn’t a normal week, so get some easy lunches, popsicles, ice cream, and an extra bottle of wine for yourself. And some paper plates! Prop your feet up and snuggle those sick babies. You can’t do it all, so prioritize what’s important and let the rest go.
- Remember, “this too shall pass.” If a bad illness goes around the family slowly like it did for mine, brace yourself, because you might find yourself living in a false reality that this is your new normal. It can cause feelings of despair and loneliness, feeling like you’re never going to leave your house ever again. You might wonder if you will ever like this snotty-nosed whiny kid ever again. How did he or she become so unpleasant? Where did your sweet baby go? If you need to, just pull up some videos of happy memories and remind yourself what joy motherhood usually brings you. This is a sucky week or two — most likely with zero video footage taken — but it will be over soon.
- Get sunshine and fresh air, if you can. We live in Western Washington, where sunshine is sometimes not accessible. However, we were “lucky” enough to get sick before the weather turned too chilly or gray. When I thought I couldn’t take another second indoors as the four walls seemed to close in on me, I would take a baby to snuggle on the front porch as I basked in the sun and lived vicariously through the neighborhood children laughing and playing carelessly, and the cars driving by going about their daily routines. I was even able to engage in faraway conversation with neighbors to get my “adult conversation cup” filled.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Of course, this can be tricky when you’re trying to avoid getting others sick. You won’t want to ask people to care for your sick children, but you can ask for help in other ways. For instance, I had a friend offer to bring food, and I took her up on it without hesitation. We all needed to eat, but I didn’t have the energy or appetite to make anything of substance. Another idea could be asking a friend to take one of your children who is not sick out of the house to give them a change of scenery (and you, a small break). You may have signed up to volunteer at or bring food to an event. Ask someone if they can fill in for you. If you work remotely or have deadlines to meet, ask for an extension. You will be surprised at how understanding people can be.
And … as much as I would like to, I will refrain from adding “pass lollipop around the family at first symptoms” on this list because that is probably not considered best practice, but it might secretly be on my own personal list.
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