Everyone loves a man in uniform, right? As the wife of a Marine, I know I certainly do! My husband spent 23 years in the Marine Corps, and I was either dating him or married to him for every one of those years. There are so many reasons I love and admire him, whether he’s wearing the dress blues or not.
However, when I talk about my husband to people who haven’t met him, I often encounter unfortunate stereotypes and unfair judgments. Yes, he spent two decades enlisted in the Marine Corps infantry, which meant a lot of combat deployments to the Middle East. So yeah, he has earned some Purple Heart scars from those years. It’s true when he enlisted he didn’t have a college degree. If you think those facts mean you can label him as a “dumb grunt” or a “crayon-eater” (yes, these are real terms people use for infantry Marines), then you’d be wrong.
My husband may be a Marine, but he does not fit the stereotypes. He’s so much more. I love him for all that he is, scars and all. Some of his lovable qualities existed before the Marine Corps, while others developed during his time in the military. This Valentine’s Day, I want to share with you some of the lovable qualities of a real-life Marine.
I love my Marine because…
- He’s a lifelong learner. He didn’t have a college degree when he joined the military, but he more than made up for that during his time in service. Taking advantage of the Tuition Assistance Program, he took one college class at a time and didn’t pay out of pocket. It took almost 10 years to earn his bachelor’s (with lots of interrupted time because of desert deployments), but he did it! He kept going. One class at a time, one paper at a time and finally completed his master’s thesis just before retiring from the Marines. I’m so proud of him and grateful he was able to transfer his G.I. Bill to our children to enrich their educational journeys.
- He’s passionate about his hobbies. You might assume that male Marines — especially in the infantry community — are all interested in testosterone-filled activities like working out, hunting, driving muscle cars or skydiving, but that’s not always the case. I’ve known men in his community to have hobbies ranging from fashion to music and from card games to fine dining. My husband’s always been talented with sports and weapons, but his indoor hobbies are more “nerdy,” with a focus on history, board games and collecting books. He pursues his interests with passion, which has always impressed me, even if I don’t quite share the same hobby. I love how he pursues his interests wholeheartedly, with joy and confidence. I’m honored to still be his main interest, even after more than two decades together!
- He has a great worldview. Like many service members, my husband’s military career allowed him to travel and “see the world,” namely the Middle East, Europe and Eastern Asia. I was lucky to join him for a three-year assignment in Spain. Whenever he encountered a new culture, he always found something to respect and admire, even if it was dramatically different from his own beliefs. To this day, he speaks highly of individuals and traditions from other parts of the world. I love his admiration and ability to humanize people everywhere, even if he doesn’t speak their language.
- He’s attentive to budgeting. There’s a stereotype that enlisted service members live paycheck to paycheck, paying high interest rates on cars they can’t afford. And yes, my husband did buy a new truck as soon as he graduated from boot camp at age 19. He’s come a long way since then! Now, he’s the one who tracks the spending, researches investments and plans our vacations. His smart saving and investing strategies have helped us buy two houses and raise a large family. Not every Marine is wise with their money, but I’m so grateful that he’s been willing to learn and make strong financial choices for our future.
I love a Marine who is handsome, intelligent and complex. He’s bigger than most of the stereotypes people have about enlisted infantrymen. Like many service members, there’s much more to him than a uniform, a rank or a specific career field. I’m so proud to love my one-of-a-kind Marine, and I hope that this love letter will help others look for depth before stereotyping service members.
