For the first time ever, I’ll be enjoying Christmas Eve free from assembling toys, wrapping gifts, tiptoeing around my own house and staying up way past my bedtime. This is the first year everyone in our house knows Santa’s real identity.
This had me revisiting all the “traditions” we’ve tried to make stick over the years. There are a lot of them. That’s the burden of someone parenting in the age of bloggers and influencers. We feel the pressure to dump more and more magic into our holiday season. I’ve asked myself several times over the years, “Are we even having fun anymore?” And, of course, “Why am I more tired after winter break than I was before winter break?”
Of all the things we’ve abandoned over the years, I’ve found what’s important to our family stuck — decorating together the day after Thanksgiving, watching everyone’s favorite movie, annual (very tacky) Christmas pajamas, homemade cinnamon rolls, light riding, and baking a batch of everyone’s favorite cookies. The rest of the noise the internet led me to believe “made the holidays” has been shown the curb.
I’d like to give you permission to simplify your winter holidays. If something drains you, don’t do it. If it just absolutely will not work where you’re stationed this year, pause it. If you find yourself dragging the kids kicking and screaming to something, maybe it’s time to call it.
Here’s what we’ve abandoned over the years while keeping the holidays the most wonderful time of the year for everyone at our house:
The Elf on the Shelf
I made it one year. This little maniac is nothing but trouble. Create over-the-top messes after the kids go to bed for 24 nights in a row — absolutely not. As I unpacked our holiday décor, I threw him straight into the garbage before the kids could see him. They never asked about him again. To be transparent, they did drop little hints of jealousy here and there over the years about friends who had elves. I simply told our kids that we didn’t need an elf at our house.
Daily Acts of Kindness
I really, really wanted to love this one. I would not let it go despite moving overseas and still trying to make it work. Logic finally won out. For starters, it was expensive, but most importantly, I found it was doing the exact opposite of what it’s supposed to (show our kids the importance of doing nice things for others). Our kids were just as exhausted as I was rushing here and there to hide dollar bills, prep care packages for the homeless, bake cookies for an entire teaching staff, etc. We now focus more on letting these moments happen organically, all year long. When there’s an opportunity to be a little nicer or more generous than you have to be, do it. There’s no need to cram all the good deeds for the year into an already hectic month.
Santa “Evidence”
Technology and I have a love-hate relationship. Most of that hate falls on my printer for rarely doing the one thing it’s supposed to do. One year, I downloaded an app — you may know it — where you could take a picture of your living room and they would essentially edit Santa into the picture, making it look like you (super parent) snapped a photo of him leaving gifts. This blew the minds of our two kids, but by the next year, my boy genius of a son was onto the whole Santa thing. That photo was at the center of his suspicions. He’d heard friends say their parents got the same photo; dots were connected, and he wanted some answers. Let’s just agree here today, some efforts to make the magic feel more real can deflate it all together. My advice? Leave room for imagination.
Mailing Letters to Santa
You’ve heard about my wickedly smart son; now let me introduce you to my fiercely independent daughter. I’ll never forget the year she mailed a letter to Santa with her Christmas list via our base post office without showing me what was on it. To this day, I have no idea what was on that list. She was so young she’s forgotten at this point. I had to deliver what she wanted without knowing what she asked for — not ideal. After the stress of shopping for her that year, I gave up on letters to Santa. Our kids rarely had them done in time to help me shop anyway. I’d have their gifts purchased by Thanksgiving, and they’d mail a letter with a completely different wish list the week of Christmas. It became yet another vulnerable spot in the Santa fabric, so we stopped.
Elaborate Holiday Meals
If you’ve read my rants about Thanksgiving, this is nothing new. It’s a monster grocery bill, two days of prep, a day on your feet in the kitchen, only to eat lukewarm food and spend two days cleaning up and a week eating leftovers. Instead, everyone picks something they want to eat — it’s usually a snack or an appetizer — and we have a spread set out all day. We still do our traditional morning cinnamon rolls and then kick over to savory bites in the afternoon. It’s zero effort, which means I get to enjoy the holiday too, and I know I’m not going to labor over something my kids are just going to call gross as they fill up on rolls.
Creating Happy Holidays
I could probably go on, include things that fell away that hurt me deeply (like photos with Santa), but you get the idea. These are your holidays too. Make sure you have time to enjoy them and make memories with your family instead of staging something for social media or trying to keep pace with influencers. Wherever you are, whatever you celebrate, I hope you and your family have a relaxing, memorable and joyous season.
