Black and white photo of paint brushes, paintings and drawings

Is the Self-Care Convo Missing Something Big?

Self-care is a huge phenomenon that has taken over like wildfire for the past decade. Doing a quick Instagram hashtag search of #selfcare shows 69 million hashtags. It is no secret that self-care has self-created its own industry. The numbers speak for themselves. After years of enthusiastically partaking in it, I’m questioning if we are missing something important.

There are so many ways to take care of ourselves and so many layers of ourselves to care for. I’m overwhelmed looking at the list of things I’m supposed to do to participate in self-care. I encourage you to think about whether or not these lists are instant satisfaction experiences or long-lasting life-giving experiences.

In a world that so desperately needs to slow down, we are adding multiple chores to our to-do lists. Hear me out though, none of these “chores” are bad. Most of them are wonderful suggestions. If I added all of them, my life would look completely different. But would it end up looking like a life I established, or a life I borrowed from someone’s book?

I spent several years in the self-care space. But having experienced a lot of unsettling toxic positivity, I came to realize this movement gives a lot of authority to external sources — sources that sell us lifestyles and are missing something very important. We are giving away our own agency over our life to meet the expectations of the “perfect life.”

I believe we seek out peace in the most linear way possible. The fastest, most direct way to get there is through instant satisfaction or self-care. It feels great in the moment and maybe for a few moments after that. But does it last? Does it get you out of bed in the morning? Does it drive you?

Let’s have a conversation about passion. Passion lights you on fire. It gives your life fulfillment and satisfaction. It feeds your soul. Inside the self-care space there is encouragement to find hobbies when it comes to advice, but a conversation in passion is lacking. I firmly believe that passion is self-led exploration. It leaves little room for industry. It’s a quiet, internal mission, but lessons you learn on your own are the ones that change your life, not the lessons someone else learned when they were learning about themselves. It’s a different experience, and it is more profound when it’s just you and all your layers.

As humans, we are moved by beauty. We naturally are drawn to it. I believe at the end of the day we all want to fall in love with the beauty we created in our lives. In our culture, as conversations about beauty become more about diversity and acknowledging the beauty everyone has to offer, naturally, our shift to accepting that beauty in one’s life is not a one-size-fits-all. Be more self-empowered, not self-cared for by an industry. Let’s bring more passion to the conversation.

When was the last time you thought of following your passion? Do you have a passion? Do you know what it is? I think this is a fantastic place to start. Limit your outside noise and practice your inner authority. I’ve come to believe the care we need to give ourselves comes from within.

photo of Katelyn Nixon
Written By Katelyn Nixon
Army Spouse

Katelyn has been a military spouse for six years and enjoys the adventurous lifestyle. To share her experiences with other spouses, she started a blog in 2018.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


  • This insightful blog post prompts reflection on the true essence of self-care and challenges societal norms. It encourages a shift from industry-driven practices to self-led passion, advocating for authenticity and personal empowerment. A compelling read for anyone navigating the complex landscape of well-being.

  • Social Media Admins says:

    Hi Olafur, thank you for your kind words!