In July of this year, my husband completed his last Marine Corps weigh-in. For anyone curious, he crushed it, as usual, but this Marine with a sweet tooth unknowingly scheduled his last weigh-in during the same week that our daughter attended baking camp, bringing home dozens of chocolate chip cookies, cupcakes, blueberry muffins and an entire peanut butter pie, just to name a few.
Not one to sleep on a chance to share an ironic chuckle with friends, I took to the text chain I share with my inner circle military spouse pals, which is just two other people — so, inner triangle? I digress. I knew they’d get it because they get me, they know my husband and they can also appreciate a delicious dessert.
When I sent a text saying something along the lines of my husband picking the wrong week to weigh in, I got the expected “HAHA” reaction and a reply of, “Um, can I go to this camp?” That was that, or so I thought.
Then I got another reply, “Wait. It’s July. Did he get a delayed June weigh-in, or is he getting ahead for the second half of the year?”
Sensing this was foreign information for me, this friend went on to explain there is one weigh-in between January and June and one between July and December.
I became the exploding emoji in that moment. Seventeen years — that’s 34 of these things — and it never once occurred to me that there was any kind of schedule. Either my powers of observation aren’t what I thought they were (no, no, that can’t be it), or we just can’t be expected to know it all.
Assuming it’s the latter of those two, that only further convinces me of the importance of community for military families. I don’t know everything (not even close), but chances are, I know someone who has an answer for the question of the day.
Plugging into a network, finding your people, creating an inner triangle — whatever you want to call it — is without a doubt the best advice I could give to a new military spouse. It’s about so much more than making friends at a duty station, though the social aspect is a nice perk. Your community becomes your support system when you need a hand, someone to hold your baby for 10 minutes so you can shower, help finding a rental house, or an emergency contact for your kids’ new school.
Your community becomes your phone-a-friend in those times when you have no idea what [insert the craziest acronym you’ve encountered] means or where in the world building 3200B is — because all the buildings on base look the same and the addresses appear to be in no logical pattern.
When you find the people you can lean on, the people who get you, the people who don’t (seriously) judge you when you don’t know something (though sarcasm, a gentle roasting and a shared laugh are expected, in my triangle anyway), keep them close. Metaphorically speaking, of course, because PCSes are going to PCS.
These people are the best sounding board for all things military or otherwise. They keep us on track, informed and laughing. They are our cheering section, carpool, quick reference and confidants. They become family. And I, for one, would be lost without mine.
So, if you’re new here and haven’t yet found your people, they’re coming and probably also reluctantly attending spouse events or bringing their kids to the playground solo hoping to bump into you. And if you’re lucky enough to have an inner triangle, text them today and thank them for being friends.
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