When you move to a new place, there’s always a bit of uncertainty about what to expect. It can be challenging when you’re adjusting to a new environment without the familiar comfort of family or friends nearby. The saying, “This life will show you how strong you are,” rings true. Life changes often reveal how lonely transitions can truly be. When you find your “chosen family” or true friends, cherish that connection.
We all know PCS season will scatter you to different corners of the world. My chosen family snuck up on me. I thought, “Oh, they seem nice, it’ll be cool to have work friends.” Those work friends turned into Sunday brunch friends and the next thing I knew they were my actual friends. For once, I could put down a “real” friend as my kid’s emergency contact at school (versus the neighbor I met at the block party a few days ago).
What if you recently PCS’d, had a baby 21 days later and you know absolutely no one in a brand new place? How do you start over when your only friends are at your last duty station? Honestly, you take it one day at a time, one interaction at a time. Leave yourself open to the possibilities of finding new friends. I’d prepare to have solo experiences only to find myself leaving with a new friend or an exchange of numbers. Sometimes it doesn’t work out but sometimes it does.
I found myself having my first ever adult birthday party at 34 years old and 10 people showed up for me just because. Honestly, I’ll never get over that. Having my chosen family, my tribe, show up for me like that was one of the best experiences of my life. I felt seen and special, like I’d found my people in this life that takes you so far away from home.
So, to my alphabet soup of a family, thank you so much for choosing me and allowing me to choose you. No matter where the winds of PCS take us, I’m excited to catch flights and experience this life and all that comes after with y’all. To those who find themselves “in this life,” whether a new or seasoned MilSpouse, I hope you find your chosen family and they fill your life with all the love and support friends are supposed to. Our chosen families are all that and a bag of chips, simply because we choose to show up for each other.
