We just finished getting ourselves settled in our new home here in Washington State, which marks our biggest move yet, and our fourth Army duty station. We are quickly realizing that each move gets harder with the more children we have; because as any parent knows, the more kids you have, the more responsibility, attention and demands are required of you around the clock.
I knew that if I didn’t set some plans into place for our first week on the back side of our PCS, I’d be absolutely pulling out my hair. Being a mom of three children ages five and under is already a full-time job that leaves me with little time for anything else. My days are filled with a stream of tasks that must be done… piles of laundry, meal planning, endless cleaning, giving my children the attention they need from me. I already struggle to find short respites throughout the day to eat a bite of food myself or sit down for a moment. Add in unpacking an entire home from boxes, changing addresses, closing old accounts for utilities and opening new ones, finding new doctors and dentists, enrolling in school, and you’ll find yourself wishing more than ever that you owned some sort of cloning device.
There were a few things I did in preparation for our first week in our new home that helped a lot in minimizing the list of tasks that needed to be done the week we brought our children to their new home, and I will share them here.
- Set up the house before you bring the kids. This would be my number one suggestion. If there is any possible way to have your children stay with a family member for a few days while you set up your house with your spouse, do it. I know this is not always feasible or the most practical plan, but I can promise you that if you can make it happen, getting your house set up will be a much more efficient and peaceful process. The way we did this was by getting our vehicles to our destination in time to meet our household goods, spending three full days unpacking our house together and then flying back to pick up our children to bring them to their new home. This of course cost us extra money since we had to fly back to Virginia to retrieve our kids, but it was well worth it to us, and we have no regrets in doing this. I will also note that in doing this, it gave me a chance to explore and process our new home on my own first, instead of suppressing all of that to be strong for my children, who also take some time to adjust. Once we arrived with our kids, I felt that I could be the emotional anchor they needed, as I had already processed things on my own.
- Pack essentials in accessible ways. When you are leaving your duty station and packing up those last remaining items, create a box labeled “ESSENTIALS – OFB.” I always write “OFB” (open first box) on boxes that need to go into the truck last, come out first and be opened first. Pack one with everything you will need those first few days such as paper towels, dish soap, toilet paper and hand soap for each bathroom, diapers and wipes, tissues… whatever else you might need. You can also strategically place towels and linens, bedding and shower liners or other essentials into dresser drawers for easy access once dressers are placed in your home.
- Do what you can en route. During most PCSs, there is a limbo period where you are in between homes. We usually visit family or stay in a hotel during these times, depending on the situation. Chances are, you will have a lot of unstructured time during these limbo periods where you can get things done virtually. Allocate some time each day to make phone calls to switch your Tricare region and schedule new patient doctor appointments. Create meal plans and grocery lists for the first week or two in your new home. Cancel old utility accounts and set up automatic payments for new ones. Begin filling out school enrollment paperwork and changing addresses on all of your financial and insurance accounts. You will be surprised at how much you can accomplish before arriving at your new house, and you will find yourself much less overwhelmed when you get there.
These three tips are my best suggestions for families who find themselves preparing for a big move and wanting to be able to ease into their first week post-PCS with the least amount of stress possible. I would also encourage you to make a list of other things you anticipate being overwhelmed with that aren’t on my list and create a plan for how you will ease the burden. Perhaps these are also tasks you can complete prior to your move – or maybe they can wait until you are all settled. Your greatest skill in that first week will be your ability to prioritize. You absolutely will not be able to get everything you want done, so you will need to decide what absolutely must get done and do it. Happy planning!
