As I write this, we are completing our first week of summer vacation. If you recall, in an earlier blog, I mentioned that our 13-year-old son asked for one week in the summer with no scheduled events. He wanted to eat, sleep and relax. Feeling that burnout in my soul, I was happy to accommodate. This first week of summer was that week for us.
This week has been the record scratch to that full throttle last month of school, and even though I no longer have a summer break officially, even I have enjoyed this week. I’ve been in the car twice this week — no pick-ups or drop-offs, no practices or camps, no games or travel tournaments. Ten out of ten. I highly recommend finding that unicorn week on your calendar and leaning into this idea. But, with the week ending, I can already feel a new complaint rumbling under the surface that will replace the May refrain of “I’m tired.” You know the one, say it with me: “I’m bored.”
Younger Days
When the kids were younger, their boredom was everyone’s problem because they didn’t know how to entertain themselves. The upside is that boredom was easily cured by some of life’s simplest pleasures: bubbles, coloring, riding bikes, kiddie pools, running through the sprinklers when mom and dad didn’t feel like setting up the kiddie pool, and — of course — sidewalk chalk… fine, and TV — judge me all you want.
The day was broken by those glorious midday naps. Almost any boredom-induced moodiness could be cured with a popsicle.
These Days
Now that our kids are 13 and 11, boredom still plagues the house in the summer. What to do to counteract the boredom? Your guess is as good as mine. While brainstorming for this blog, I asked our son what advice he would give parents who had bored older kids at home during the summer. He was just beginning to unload the dishwasher, so I knew I had him cornered. He replied with a groan that I interpreted as a thinking noise. Then his phone buzzed. He said, “Oh, this is [so-and-so],” then he answered it as he walked out of the kitchen. What a cliffhanger, right? I guess I’ll never know for sure.
What I do know for certain is that there is a weird stretch of time between childhood — let’s say 10 years old for the sake of putting a label on it — and when teens are old enough to drive, where they still very much depend on parents (or friends’ parents) to cart them around and entertain them during the summer. This is only enhanced by the fact that kids this age find their parents to be extremely uncool.
From one uncool parent to another, here’s what I came up with to remedy the inevitable summer boredom in older kids. It doesn’t mean they’re going to like these ideas or even go for them at all. I’m a writer, not a magician or YouTuber (which I’m told is the epitome of cool these days).
- Offer chores – Kids hate this. They will never actually jump at the chance to mop the floor, but it does get them to stop complaining.
- Demand chores – Reserve this for when you need something done. Or, put some allowance behind it and it becomes the boredom cure that keeps on giving each week during the summer.
- Take it outside – Will this cure the boredom? Maybe, maybe not, but they will be bored outside, which is nice.
- Reorganize their rooms – Our 11-year-old is the inspiration for this one, so we’ll call it evidence-based. She took the initiative to clean out her room, rearrange her room and deep clean her room. It took the better part of two days, but a refresh is exactly what she wanted going into her summer before middle school.
- Pick up a hobby – With no homework, there’s all kinds of time to craft, practice an instrument, learn to cook or study a foreign language. If they pick it, legend has it that they will complain less about it.
- Coordinate (not) playdates – I’ve been told they’re now called “hangouts” or something like that, but essentially, they invite a friend over or go to a friend’s house for a while. Bonus points if the friend’s house is walkable because that is two activities for the effort of one.
- Sign up for camps – Camps aren’t just for little kids! Sport camps, dance camps, sailing camps, sleepaway camps, day camps, science camps — you get the idea. Sign them up and stagger them throughout the summer. It will make them appreciate their downtime at home, when there is typically boredom potential.
- Get a job – There are plenty of job options for kids at this age. They can babysit, pet sit, mow yards, or find a local business looking for hired help.
- Set a goal – Just today, I challenged our son to set a weekly running goal. Like most of us, he loves that accomplished, post-workout feeling, but sometimes finds it hard to talk himself off the couch. He’s accountable, so a goal will do the trick. Whether it’s running, nailing an aerial (our daughter’s summer goal), reading 10 books, or anything else challenging of interest, setting a goal is another long-running summer boredom cure.
- Be bored – This is my favorite. Learning to just be bored is hard; we aren’t born knowing how to entertain ourselves. Reference the “Younger Days” section of this blog for a refresher. Being bored creates space for creativity. Whenever possible, I’m all for letting our kids be bored and letting them find their own way out of it. I’m happy to share this list for inspiration if they need it.
I hope that summer has slowed things down at your house just as it has mine. I hope the heat and humidity are kind to you (there’s no hope for us here in North Carolina). I hope you enjoy your evenings free from shuttling kids to activities. I hope your kids have plenty of time to be bored (don’t forget to remind them how bored they were when they start complaining about being tired a month into the school year).
