child smiling at her mother

Guest Blog: To Be a Soldier and a Mother


Blogger Biography: Tamara is a staff sergeant in the Pennsylvania Army National Guard with 16 years of service. She is a single mother of three and has deployed to Iraq once. She is big on family and making memories.

I always say my family has served their country too. Although they did not enlist in the military, my family has sacrificed and dedicated so much of their time to make it possible for me to continue my service in the Army. When I am away from home, I know that my children are very well taken care of. My sisters and even all my nieces and nephews have played their part in helping me along the way; they have all earned some stripes.

My oldest son was born a few years after I enlisted in the military. He was only three months old when I had to go away for annual training for two weeks and he got to spend the two weeks with daddy. Of course I missed my baby, but I had no worries because both sides of our family were very involved. Daddy and the extended family took care of my son year after year. They showered him with love and quality time.  I know I missed him much more than he ever missed his mommy.

Okay, now fast forward ten years to my first yearlong deployment. It was so hard to leave my only child, and for the first time my son expressed that he did not want me to leave him. Very emotional time let me tell you. My son’s father and I were no longer together, but he dropped everything and moved so that my son did not have to have his life uprooted. He got to live in the same house, his own bedroom and go to the same school. Both sides of our extended family gave us so much support that I was able to perform my duty without much worry about what was going on at home. We communicated via video and telephone often. My family is very proud of me and my service, but I am just as proud of them and grateful for them.

I have since gotten married, had two beautiful little girls and separated. With the help and support from my family, I am still able to give 100 percent to my unit and my soldiers. During my next deployment, I will be leaving three children. My sisters offer to care for my children without hesitation every time. To be a soldier and a mother leaves you feeling torn between your obligation to your children and your sense of duty to your unit. Only with a great support system is it even possible. I will soon be able to retire from the Army National Guard, and I owe it to my family. So, I would like to thank all the military families out there that are supporting their soldiers unconditionally. We could not do it without you!

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1 Comment

  • Najáh Lambert says:

    Thank you so much for your story. We as spouses do sacrifice a great deal, but its what we chose when we took our vows. Today, I was able to get out of work and pick up our girls from school and make it in time to my husband’s graduation from AIT. He was over joyed and surprised when we showed up to honor his achievements. Something so small as showing up to his graduation when we’ll see him in a couple of days, meant the world to him. I’m honored to make the sacrifices I do (even missing a few hours of work) as a milspouse because the person I’m sacrificing for chose to put himself at risk (physically, mentally, and spiritually) for the better of his family and nation. I thank him, you, and all our service members for everything you all do and know that we are here supporting every step of your journey.