My husband recently asked me, “When will we be done with the furniture-building stage of life?” Since we were putting together a new bookshelf at the time, my answer was, “Apparently, not yet!”
He retired from the military a year ago after 22 years of service. It feels like we are still moving in to our “forever home.” This move feels more drawn out than the others. For once, we are taking the time to be intentional about setting up our home. We can actually buy furniture that fits the spaces and paint walls that won’t need to be repainted white in two years.
This is the seventh home we have shared during our marriage. Every other time we moved, I rushed to unpack boxes, set up the kids’ bedrooms and get pictures hung on the walls before I ran out of energy. This move, we took our time. We bought curtains that fit the windows. We weren’t afraid to rearrange furniture and spaces and closets until we found a solution that works for us. I waited months before hanging any picture frames because it felt so permanent.
For my fellow military families who are in the middle of PCS season, I know there is no right or wrong way to move into a home. The important thing is not the timeline of your unpacking, but whether your family feels settled in the new home.
When I surveyed military spouses about their strategies for feeling settled at a new location, I heard the same responses again and again. There are proven strategies for making a new house feel like home. Most answers relate to setting up your space and connecting to the community.
Set up your space with familiar things
Everyone has different priorities for what makes them comfortable in their new home, but military spouses offered the following recommendations to make a house feel like home once you have moved in:
- Set up the bedrooms: For most family members, their bedroom is their personal space. Whether you keep the same furniture and bed covers, or go for a new color scheme, the important thing is that people have a safe, comfortable space to relax in their new home.
- Put up curtains: Not only do they offer privacy and block sunlight so people sleep better, but familiar curtains can also personalize your new space. Military families often move with a box of curtains, just in case they fit at the next house. Some fold bedroom curtains into dressers or closets, so they will be packed with the clothes and easy to find. If you don’t have curtain rods yet, use temporary hooks or office clips to get them in place!
- Hang the pictures and décor: The fastest way to personalize your space is to get the family photos and the familiar décor items on display. Rooms may have a new layout, and furniture might not fit the way it did at the last house, but at least your family can be surrounded by their own smiling memories or their favorite artwork.
Get connected to the community
Military spouses insist that finding their way around the new town is the best way to make a new place feel like home. The sooner you can navigate without directions, the more relaxed you will feel in your new surroundings. Take a break from packing to prioritize these tasks:
- Find the necessities: You won’t feel settled until you can find the things your family needs, like a grocery store, dentist or hairdresser. Visit the PX on base so you know what items they carry.
- Locate your favorite chains: There’s a reason why military families always search for familiar stores like Target and Starbucks — you get a comforting dopamine hit when you find something associated with previous happy memories. Chain stores will have the same look, feel and product selection in most states, so you’re likely to recognize your go-to favorites.
- Be a joiner: Joining a local class at the gym or a hobby club can immediately make you part of a larger group with common interests. Similarly, many military families say finding a local church or faith community helps them feel connected and supported.
If you’re a military family going through another move, know that making a new house feel like home will take some time. The sooner you set up your space and get connected to the community, the faster you will feel at home in your new location. Hopefully, someday soon, you will be done with the furniture-building stage and ready to enjoy your new home!
