A child holding a wand

Practice Self-Love but Perfect Self-Lead

Self-love is a great movement that is important for women around the world and an important habit we should all practice. Past generations were not taught to stop and consider taking time for themselves. But there is something that is just as important, and that is learning to self-lead.

As little girls, when we showed our leadership potential, we were often called bossy and dismissed. Learning to self-lead, after years of having our natural talents belittled, feels foreign. But it’s important to stop feeding the script of the past and start stepping into who we were called to be. Here are three helpful tips to perfect self-leading:

  1. Believe you are capable. “I don’t know how you do it all.” Have you ever heard that and instantly dismissed it? We have a hard time believing in our abilities. This habit of not crediting ourselves for all we accomplish during the day just reinforces our instinct to deny our capabilities. I believe that starts in acknowledging all the things we do and seeing our own worth. We have to stop thinking that what we bring to the table is second rate. We are gifted in our capacity to manage all the details of not only our lives, but all the members of our families’ lives. We all have a natural talent (whether we are using it or not). Why not channel it into reaching a goal or a dream?
  2. Give yourself permission. The most beautiful thing happens when we become vulnerable and share our stories and struggles with each other. In this life, we sacrifice so much. A lot of times our circumstances force us to step up and take on more responsibilities for our families. And for some of us, that is easy to hide behind. But, are we living up to all of our potential? When you realize you have a dream in your heart, you have to give yourself permission to chase it.
  3. Stop seeking validation. As women this is especially hard. Being accepted is something we all struggle with, at all stages of life. We love to be seen and appreciated; it only feels natural to seek validation. But when you realize that other people’s opinions are none of your business and you are in charge of your own happiness, it will be easier to love yourself. You don’t need anyone’s permission to follow your dreams.

Loving yourself enough to take time for yourself is an important habit for everyone to learn. More important, and less practiced, is the habit of stepping up to become the leader in your own life. We give up too easily on the dreams and visions we have for our lives. Consistently stepping up to be the leader you were made to be will drastically change your life and possibly the lives of the next generation of women.

photo of Katelyn Nixon
Written By Katelyn Nixon
Army Spouse

Katelyn has been a military spouse for six years and enjoys the adventurous lifestyle. To share her experiences with other spouses, she started a blog in 2018.

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