Topic: Staying Connected


Our lives get really busy, and with frequent separations as military spouses, it can be easy to fall into a rut and stop investing time in your relationship. Here are five easy ways to get those sparks flying!

  1. Recreate your first date. How fun does this sound? Our first date was several states away from where we are now, but I already have some great ideas as to how I can make this happen. Find a similar place, wear similar clothes, plan similar activities. Such a great way to bring back that initial spark! If your first date was less than stellar, there’s no harm in switching things up a bit. Have fun with it!
  2. Make a bucket list together. Sit down and work together to create a list of things you want to do either together or as a family. This gets you talking about things you’ve always wanted to do and puts you both on the same page, while giving you something to work for as a couple. It can be a life-long bucket list, a list of things you want to explore or visit in your current area, or even little things. Going to a bar or bookstore together, cooking dinner together once a week, or finding a new place to watch the sunrise are just as worthy and sometimes more attainable.
  3. Disrupt your routine. Taking a break from the day-to-day monotony always stirs things up a bit. Discuss something you would like to change within your daily regimen, such as waking up early to have a cup of coffee together. Or, get a little crazy and plan a date night with friends instead of just the two of you. Seeing other people also helps to switch things up and it’s fun to spend time out with other couples!
  4. See a counselor. I get that this scares some people, but it’s also a great tool to reignite that spark! Even if you don’t have any major issues, it’s helpful to talk about things and be proactive in creating and maintaining a meaningful and joyful relationship with your spouse. My husband and I see a counselor to discuss how we communicate with each other, and we always leave our sessions feeling empowered and enlightened. Whether you go weekly, monthly or every three to six months (as we tend to do), it helps to have that little checkup to keep your relationship strong.
  5. Laugh together. They say laughter is the best medicine, so make that extra effort to get some laughs in! Plan a date to a comedy club or to see a comedian, rent a funny DVD so you can laugh as loud as you want on your couch at home, or make a list together of your funniest memories or things your kids say. When needed, refer to your list. You could even learn a silly new joke to share. Sometimes the more goofy it is, the more funny it seems!

Whether your relationship needs a little pick-me-up or a serious wakeup call, taking a little time to invest in your marriage is key to maintaining a lasting, loving relationship. By nurturing, encouraging, and investing time and effort into it, you can keep that spark going or reignite it when needed.