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Tips for Airline Travel With Young Kids

Written By Sydney Smith

If you stay a military spouse for long enough, you’ll probably find yourself needing to fly on an airplane somewhere with your children by yourself, whether that be due to a cross-country PCS or visiting family while your spouse is gone. Flying with young children can be a daunting adventure that you’ll most likely want to prepare for to the best of your ability. Here are some creative things I’ve learned over the last six years of flying with my children, I hope others may find at least one of these ideas helpful, too!

  • Schedule out your time with activities and snacks. Break your flying time into chunks, either by hour or half-hour intervals. Plan at least one different snack, activity and book for each interval. Maybe the first hour is a granola bar and audiobook players; the second hour is snacks and coloring books; the third hour is cookies and tablets; and the fourth hour is gummies and tablets. Even if those things don’t take up the full hour, they’ll at least break up the trip a bit for everyone. It’s also helpful to buy some new toys and books your kids have never seen — as this will keep them entertained for longer.
  • Bring one large bag, rather than single carry-ons for each child. I find it much easier to bring one large bag that’s strategically organized, rather than allowing each child to bring their own. I’m a mother who’s usually all for responsibility and requiring my children to keep accountability for their things — but an airplane is not the place to do so. I like to be in control of all the items on the plane, and when each of those things comes out of the bag. I have an amazing bag my husband got me for Mother’s Day that has four different zipper sections that can hold several items each. The bag also has a laptop sleeve I use for books (coloring, sticker, reading books), three different strap options for carrying, a water bottle holder and some smaller zipper pouches for things like headphones or gum. My best advice is to pick your bag very strategically. Organize it as best you can, and continue organizing it on your plane ride, as things get mixed around. You’ll want easy access to everything and to know where each item is.
  • Break your own rules, just this once. Throw the screen time and sugar limits out the door. Your goal is survival and silence, at whatever cost. You will not rot your child’s teeth or turn his or her brain to mush with one five-hour flight of endless movies and candy.
  • Take special walks with each child. Give each of your children a “special walk” where you show them all the things on the airplane. Take them to the bathroom and show them all the funny things, like the airplane toilet and sink. Introduce them to the flight attendants sitting in the back. Let them walk down the aisle and wave hello to everyone. You will usually find that people are extra friendly to you when you have young children.
  • Play “the gummy bear game.” To kill time during difficult moments, I like to make up fun games to play with the kids. One of our favorite games to play when our airplane starts descending is called “the gummy bear game.” I get out a bag of gummy bears and I place one gummy bear hidden in the palm of my hand. Each child gets a turn guessing what color it is. They have unlimited guesses. Once they get it right, they get to eat the gummy bear. This game is a win-win because it’s simple, the kids absolutely love it, the gummy bears get eaten slowly, and the chewing helps pop your kids’ ears on the way down.
  • Set low expectations. Expect tantrums and blowouts, meltdowns and zero sleeping. Expect spilled juice, incessant whining and lots of turbulence. If anything goes better than this, you’ll be pleasantly surprised! And if your expectations are true, at least you won’t be disappointed. By setting low expectations, you set yourself up for success.

I hope some of these tried-and-true tips work for some of you other solo-flying parents out there. It can be scary to fly with your kids for the first time, but once you do it you’ll be so proud of yourself, and you’ll know how to do it even better the next time.

Backpack

A Military Parent’s Bittersweet Farewell to High School

Written By Dawn Smith

As the last weeks of summer slipped away and fall arrived, a bittersweet anticipation took over our house — at least, that’s how I feel. Our only child is starting her final year of high school, a milestone marked with joy but also many other complex emotions unique to military life.

The Last First Day

As her culminating year unfolds with all of the “last” milestones, like the last first day of school, the last homecoming, the last equestrian competition, and the last college entrance essay written, there’s an underlying current of excitement for what lies ahead. Our daughter’s future is filled with limitless possibilities, and thanks to an amazing group of senior class parents, these opportunities were sweetly celebrated at a senior sunrise event she attended.

While we feel the weight of impending separation, there’s also hope and optimism. We know that this new phase will bring a new set of challenges and opportunities. We’re eager to support her as she takes off on her biggest journey to date.

We Did the Best We Could

For many parents, the senior year of high school is a whirlwind of celebrations and farewells, a time to bask in the pride of watching a child reach adulthood. However, as a military family, our experience is often colored by the notion of “we did the best we could” while dealing with deployments and multiple moves. We’ll always question if we chose the right schools or if our daughter was affected by too much one-on-one time with me and too little time with her dad while he was away.

Graduation cookies

Time for Reflection

Her senior year is also a period of overall reflection. We often look back and marvel at how she has adapted and sometimes even thrived despite her world of constant change. At the same time, we’re also reflecting on our own journey as parents. We hope the sacrifices we’ve made and the resilience we’ve struggled for are mirrored in our girl’s mental and emotional growth. Gratefully, I believe navigating the challenges of military life has forged a strong family bond she will carry into young adulthood. As we prepare to let go, we’re also learning to embrace a new chapter of our lives.

Wrapped in Melancholy

A sense of melancholy exists alongside our pride, admiration and excitement. The impending departure to college and the next phase of life sometimes feels like a loss. The concept of “home” is fluid for military families, but the idea of our child leaving the nest introduces a new layer of uncertainty.

There’s also the melancholy of seeing her leave behind the high school community that has become her support system. The friends she’s made and the teachers and coaches who have guided her will soon become cherished memories. The idea of our daughter navigating these changes alone tugs at our hearts.

Ultimately, I think the mixed emotions we’re experiencing are a testament to our love and dedication for our one and only girl. As we navigate this final year of high school, we’re embracing the complexity of our feelings, knowing that each emotion serves a healing purpose to put each one of us on a forward path to the future.

P.S., It’s Not Too Late to Learn About Paying for College

I’m grateful that I’ve spent her high school years slowly learning about paying for college with my husband’s GI Bill. There’s a lot to uncover, and every college seems to handle some of the details differently, especially if you’re considering applying for the Yellow Ribbon Program. If you have a senior and feel a little behind in learning how to pay for college, these blogs will point you in the right direction.

Service member hugging loved one

A Peace-Filled Family

Written By

As my two kids and I stood in the airport terminal, waiting for my husband to walk out of security, I had a wave of emotions that flushed over me. I felt joy that we were finally here! I made it seven months with my husband deployed in the Middle East while caring for a baby and a 4-year-old at home. I felt eager for him to get here and for all we’d have to catch up on. I was anxious to finally share all the emotions (good and bad) that we had held in for almost a year.

Throughout the last seven months, my husband and I had barely spoken. When we talked, my 4-year-old would steal the phone and play with it because she wanted so desperately to connect with her daddy and be with him. Then my baby would try to grab the phone, which I was okay with because I wanted her to remember who he was and not be scared when he came home. After all, the last time she saw her daddy was when she was 5 months old.

My husband couldn’t share with me much of his struggles and emotions because he knew all that I was dealing with. I couldn’t share with him the whirlwind of life with two kids and all that had gone on while he was gone. I didn’t want to add any more weight to his shoulders. With him coming home, we were going to have to communicate again. We would delve into all that we withheld from each other emotionally.

So here we were, excited and anxiously waiting. My girls were dressed up in red, white and blue outfits. I was in a brand-new yellow flower print spaghetti strap dress (that I hoped would knock my husband off of his feet).

We held our signs tightly as we waited for him. Signs that we spent weeks working on. My 4-year-old daughter had a sign splattered with paint that said, “Forget Superman, my dad is my hero.” My sign said, “You’re home! Your next mission: kiss me.”

As the time of the airplane landing neared, it was hard for me to focus on much of anything surrounding me except the security exit. Other members of my husband’s unit kept trying to talk to us. Other spouses were waiting anxiously as well, making small talk. I couldn’t focus on the words coming out of their mouths. I could only focus on that exit.

As his commander announced that the plane landed and everyone was unloading, I felt my breath catch in my chest. My husband was here. He was in the same country as me, the same state, the same city! I tried to hold it together for my girls. Kids pick up on everything after all. When you’ve pushed down emotions for over half a year, it’s difficult to keep them in any longer.

Then I saw him. He came out of the terminal exit in his “MultiCams” (the camouflage pattern used during deployment) with a giant, beautiful smile on his face. The smile I fell in love with so many years ago. I could tell he was trying to hold his composure while also walking as fast as he could to get to us. As he came up to us, he bent down to our oldest daughter and scooped her up in a giant, daddy bear hug. She started to cry tears of joy as she clung tightly to his neck. Next, it was my turn, and our baby daughter’s, who I was holding. As he held our 4-year-old in his arms, he gave me the kiss we had been waiting seven long months for. Then he sweetly and gently talked to our baby daughter. As a daddy, he knew that he had to tread lightly with her because she likely didn’t remember him. She shyly looked at him and cooed. Then she clung back onto me. She remembered him but still had to get used to him being near again.

After gathering his things, we walked out of the airport together as a family, complete again. My husband rode in the back seat with the kids, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I could breathe again.

Ashley is a proud Air Force wife and mother of two adorable little girls and a little boy. Her spouse has served in the military for 22 years. Ashley is also an author of children’s books and a reporter for her local newspaper.

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