Little boy exploring the outdoors

Finding the Silver Lining Wherever You Are

Written By Sydney Smith

I miss summer thunderstorms in the South. The way the whole house would shake as I held our babies in my arms. Staring into their wide eyes, waiting for the next flash of lighting and startling booms of thunder. I miss the excitement the storms brought on the long hot days, breaking up the sun’s crippling heat and putting on a show for us with a much-needed breeze.

I also love the calm, reliably perfect summers here in Washington. I love the crisp mornings and the cloudless days of robin’s-egg blue skies. I love how we can keep the windows open most days and eat dinners on the back patio without sticky air or bothersome bugs. I love how long the summer days are here. It’s as if they know how precious they are, allowing us to squeeze the most we can out of our time under the sun before leaving too soon.

I miss the brief and mild winters of the South, the way summer was its default setting. I miss how the warmth would creep back in by the end of March or beginning of April and not depart until close to Christmas. I miss October beach trips and February picnics under the sun. I miss babies crawling around in diapers and nothing else for half of the year, and I miss the days I didn’t spend every morning searching for the other sock, glove or rain boot.

I love fall in Washington. I love waking up in the mornings to blankets of fog, soon making way for blue skies. I love the vibrantly colored leaves covering the sidewalks for my children to collect. I love that I can wear my cozy sweaters without needing to shed them by noon. I love the anticipation of and preparations for home projects, books to tackle, movies to watch, and board games to play with the kids while we drink hot chocolate. I love dreaming of the cozy days waiting for us just around the corner.

I miss living near our family members who are all on the opposite coast. I miss being in the same time zone and being able to call my mom or sister after I get the kids to bed. I love the adventures we give our family members when they come to visit. I love how special the time we have with them has become and how we make the very best of every moment.

I miss warm beaches and swimming pools and endless afternoons of water games and too many popsicles. I love making fires and flying kites and exploring tide pools on cold beaches along the Pacific coast and how the sun sets over the ocean.

I miss rural landscapes and country backroads. I miss the Blue Ridge Mountains in the distance on long drives. I love that I can see Mount Rainier from wherever I am; its towering snowy peak trying to pull me away from reality with hypnotizing majesty. I love how we can take any exit off the highway and end up at a state park. I love how the hiking trails feel right out of a fairytale here, and the world feels extra colorful in these mountains.

Possibly my favorite thing about Washington — The Evergreen State — is the evergreen trees. I love how each one seems to have its own personality, pointing crookedly in its own windblown direction. They’re beautiful against both blue skies and gray, when still and when blowing. I love how they never change, how their eternal green is something we can count on during our colorless winters.

It can be easy to move to a new duty station — possibly one you don’t like — and look at everything through jade-colored glasses you never thought you’d own. It’s too easy to get caught up in the “I wish this place had/was more/was not…” (fill in the blank) mindset, comparing your situation to others.

Many know how the saying goes: We cannot control what happens to us in this life, but we can control how we respond. If you’re reading this, I encourage you to make the decision to find the good wherever you are. I promise it’s there. You just have to look around.

Teens celebrating during a sunset

High School Graduation Party Planning Tips

Written By Dawn Smith

Hey, senior parents, May and June will be here before you know it. Are you ready to plan a graduation party?

With all the busyness of senior year, it’s best to get a head start in January or February. There are plenty of things to do before the big day, whether you hold a small soirée at home or a blowout event at a fancy location. Here’s how to get started:

1. Talk with your student about what kind of party they want. It’s easy for parents to get caught up in the celebration and want to go all out for their senior. Ultimately, it’s their accomplishment, so they should have some say in the festivities. Talk about what would make them happy. They may prefer a small dinner at a restaurant instead of a big party in the backyard. Let them lead the conversation, and don’t be surprised if they would rather take a senior trip than plan an over-the-top grad party!

2. Discuss the guest list early. Military-connected kids are lucky to have a village that likely spans the U.S. and possibly overseas locations. The distance can make attending a graduation challenging. If some of your child’s favorite people live far away, give them an early heads-up about the graduation or party date as soon as possible so they can do their best to make the trip. Decide how you’ll send your loved one’s save-the-date announcements. Sharing the dates and times can be as simple as a group text sent in the new year or sending invites that double as your child’s cap and gown picture for everyone to admire.

3. Book your venue ASAP. Now that you have an idea of what type of party you’re throwing and how many guests to invite, contact any venue you’re considering for availability and pricing.

Many of the best locations go fast if multiple high schools in your area compete for a prime weekend. Even if you throw a party at home, you may have difficulty securing catering or rentals like tents and chairs.

4. Save a little money each month for the party. Senior year is notoriously expensive. There are pictures to buy, senior fees to pay, and proms to attend, to name just a few items on a long list of expenses. It might be easier to tuck away a little extra money each month to tackle graduation party costs.

5. Strategically buy party supplies over the five or six months before the party. Party stores often have clearance sales for past holidays and seasons. Don’t forget to check for discounted New Year’s Eve decorations. They’ll have the graduation year already embellished with glitter and confetti. You can also keep an eye out for your senior’s school colors (high school and college): balloons, table decorations and wall hangings. If your senior wants to display unique items from their hobbies or military life, remember to plan for their display.

6. Begin planning for entertainment. Many parents use a graduation party to focus not just on the momentous day but their student’s 18 years. If you want a picture slideshow, custom video or music arrangements, begin gathering the components, including the tech you need to showcase it at the party. If you want to include videos from family and friends, make sure you give them notice and a due date that you can work with.

It’s hard to believe this chapter in your MilKid’s life is closing. They’ve no doubt sacrificed and endured much more than the average child. Although most parents feel a tug of sadness during this emotional time, planning a party could be one of the distractions that helps you process the transition. Try to enjoy each moment!

Lizann’s family in front of the ocean

What This Veteran’s Wife Is Thankful For

Written By Lizann Lightfoot

In the month of Veterans Day and Thanksgiving, it seems fitting to reflect on all I’m thankful for as the spouse of a retired veteran. My husband retired from the Marines a year ago, and it’s been a wild ride of adjusting to a new lifestyle in our “forever home.” There were many times throughout his two-decade career when I was frustrated or resentful of all the challenges the military brought to our lives. However, one year into retirement, I now have a fresh perspective and can appreciate some of the unique qualities of this military lifestyle.

I am thankful…

  • For (most of) the PCS moves. Moving is really challenging, and there were many times I dragged my feet and resented the chaos it brought to our family. I don’t like change — who does, really? However, looking back, I can now appreciate the unusual opportunity to live on all of America’s coasts, as well as overseas. Thanks to my husband’s military career, I was able to leave a small town in Pennsylvania to live near beaches in North Carolina, explore small towns in Spain, soak up Southern California and experience Mississippi’s Gulf Coast. Although I didn’t fall in love with every place we lived, now that I’m back in a small Pennsylvania town, I appreciate the incredible travel opportunities and broad worldview it gave my children.
  • For quality friends. Ask any military spouse what they like most about the military lifestyle, and if they don’t say travel (see above), they will most likely say something about incredible friendships. While I had mixed experiences at different duty stations — and my fair share of spouse club drama — I admit there’s a closeness in the military community you might not find in civilian life. Wherever we moved, people reached out and welcomed us. When my husband deployed, I leaned on other spouses and formed tight bonds with some wives in his unit. Those powerful friendships carried me through incredible challenges in military life.

Lizann and her husband

  • For our marriage. As difficult as military life has been, I wouldn’t want to do life with anyone else. I waited throughout years of dating to marry my husband. Then waited through years of deployments and moves to be able to spend meaningful time with each other. He’s still worth it, our love is worth it. And I am so thankful we found each other and have shared this adventure together.

Lizann and her child

  • For the family we made. My husband and I had five children during our military life. They each had different experiences. The older ones obviously remember more schools and more moves than the younger kids. Raising military kids isn’t easy. There were long stretches of solo parenting far from any relatives or support system. I’m grateful military life gave me the opportunity to stay home with them for almost a decade. Now that I work full time and the kids are older, I treasure those “difficult years” where I poured so much love and energy into my family. I was able to stay home with my little ones and shape them into wonderful people with my husband’s military paycheck and job security.

Lizann riding a camel

  • That he always made it home. My husband did five combat deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. He earned a Purple Heart for being “blown up” by an IED before we were even married. There were so many days I feared for his safety and so many years where the future was uncertain. Now that we’ve finally made it to retirement, there’s a sense of peace and gratitude. There’s also the knowledge that not every couple was so lucky. He attended too many funerals and memorials of service members who died too young. It’s a heavy weight he carries, but I’m grateful he’s here to carry it.

Lizann smiling

  • That I learned to be independent. Before I became a military spouse, I was timid and insecure and doubted myself a lot. The military forced me into some challenging and stressful situations where I had to figure things out and pivot my plans. Because of these unique life experiences, I’ve grown confident and self-assured. I use my voice to speak to the military community and encourage spouses going through their own difficulties. I’ve learned my own worth and I’m not afraid to push back against injustice. I’m grateful the military lifestyle shaped me into the strong person I am today.

Whenever you’re feeling frustrated and overwhelmed by the numerous challenges of military life, try to pause and reflect on the silver linings. There are many unique things about the military that families can be grateful for. Let’s celebrate our thankfulness throughout the month!

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