Kristi’s daughter holds a dandelion outside near trees

Do We Still Celebrate the Month of the Military Child?

Written By Kristi Stolzenberg

When a service member separates from the military, they become a retiree or a veteran. They’re still celebrated on Veterans Day, and if you’ve ever been to a sporting event where all those who are serving or have served were asked to stand, you know the recognition extends to any patriotic holiday.

And rightfully so — they served to defend our freedoms. You’ll always find me clapping loudly and forcing my humble husband to stand up and be recognized. There are license plate frames and those sweet, sweet hats that let the world know there’s a veteran present. There are annual sales that are extended to us — just one more reason to shower veterans with appreciation.

Kristi and her daughter hug

As the spouse of a retiree, I am grateful that many of the earned benefits and discounts extend to me. No one got me a hat, but I’ll persevere. But what about our kids? This time last year, they were military kids — the only kind of kids they knew how to be.

Now, they’re not anymore. Are they former military kids? Veteran kids? A veteran’s kids? We can workshop the phrasing, but my concern remains the same: Our kids — and all military (and former military) — kids served too.

If you’ve ever held your child as they cried because they missed their deployed parent, because they’re devastated to leave their friends or because they were having trouble fitting in at a new school, you know without a doubt that military kids make sacrifices that aren’t recognized when their parent separates from the military.

There are no identifying hats or license plate frames for them. No discounts, no holidays. They’ll eventually lose their military ID cards, base privileges and their health insurance — but hey, that endearing nickname of “brat” is for life (she said sarcastically).

Kristi and her service member stand outside a building, holding hands with their children

I’ve heard my own husband (a military brat) lean on that statement anytime he’s asked where he’s from. And what I find interesting only now that he has retired — I’m no longer a military spouse and the kids are no longer military kids — is that he always uses it in the present tense. It’s never: “I was a military brat.” It’s always: “I am a military brat.”

This small distinction is important, and not just because I’m an English-language nerd who geeks out over a hearty debate on usage and tense. Continuing to claim that title after military retirement or separation — even well into their adulthood — signals that being a military child wasn’t just a thing he did for a few years.

It is part of his makeup. The places he lived while his dad served opened him up to new places, shaped his social skills and made him great at adapting and flexing when needed.

I’ve seen the same impact on our own kids. They’ve experienced lifestyles and cultures all over the United States and all over the world. Military life has made them curious, inclusive and flexible.

It’s made them expert packers and unpackers — independent, resourceful, respectful and patient(ish). And for better or worse, it’s pushed them to grow up a little faster than many of their civilian peers and taught them not to take moments and special people for granted.

None of that goes away when their parent leaves the military. It’s in their makeup (as is their knack for sarcasm, but I’m taking most of the credit for that). Our time as a military family might be past tense now, but we go forward writing our next chapters shaped by the experiences behind us.

For all the moves, all the schools, all the nights missing their dad, for all the times their mom forgot something because she had too much on her plate — for their service and for their sacrifice — I’m going to go ahead and celebrate our kids during the Month of the Military Child.

Kristi and her children sit at an indoor ceremony

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of parenting resources and tools tailored to your needs.

Lizann’s family poses on a rocky overlook with mountain peaks visible behind them

Smart Budgeting for Spring Break and Summer Activities

Written By Lizann Lightfoot

For military families, warmer weather often brings a wave of expenses: spring break trips, summer camps, day outings and all the “just one more” activities that add up fast. Throw in potential PCS orders on the horizon, and the financial pressure can feel overwhelming. After two decades as a Marine spouse, I’ve learned that planning ahead in April is the key to enjoying the season without the stress. By focusing on small, smart budgeting moves such as microbudgets and free base perks, you can create lasting memories while keeping the bank account steady.

Lizann and her children stand and sit on a large outdoor swing overlooking a coastal city and water below

The biggest trap is letting costs sneak up. With child-care gaps during school breaks, many families face extra expenses. Summer camps alone can run hundreds per week per child. Spring break getaways might seem tempting, but gas, hotels and food can drain savings quickly. The good news? Military families have built-in advantages: military discounts, numerous opportunities from the Information, Tickets and Travel Program, plus access to MWR programs.

When you’re ready to discuss upcoming spending, start by pulling up your last few months’ bank statements or using a free budgeting app to track where money is already going. Then set a realistic “fun fund” total for spring or summer, depending on your family size and situation. If you agree to something like $1,000, next you’ll break that total into microbudgets: $300 for spring break, $400 for camps, $50 for weekly outings. These small caps make decisions easier. You and your spouse can have less guilt over saying no to the expensive theme park when you know your limit.

Lizann’s baby plays in water

If those numbers sound way too low for your current location, take another look. Tapping into free and low-cost base programs is a game changer. Most military bases offer MWR perks such as outdoor recreation — hiking trails, bike rentals, splash pads, pools and campgrounds. These are novelty activities that cost little or nothing. Many bases run summer reading programs, free movie nights or family events to keep kids engaged without the price tag. During one hot summer at Camp Lejeune, we practically lived at the base pool and playgrounds. They offered free entry, endless fun and no travel costs. The United Service Organizations, or USO, center offered free books and lunches on Tuesday, so we made sure to go there weekly.

I’ve learned that applying early is the way to get the best discounts on spring break or summer camps. First, check your installation’s youth center, family center and MWR website for options. Then, ask around at local town halls or check parks-and-rec websites for military-friendly programs. Off-base activities through local community centers may offer military discounts on classes or have subsidized “scholarships” that make them more affordable.

Lizann’s children play on a colorful playground structure, climbing stairs and waving

For camps, explore options such as Military Teen Adventure Camps (free weeklong experiences focused on building resilience and connecting military kids). Gyms offer military discounts on memberships, which can lower the costs of their camps. Numerous nonprofits nationwide support unique summer experiences for military kids. My kids still talk about the time they went to a sleepaway camp in the mountains and spent a week swimming, boating and riding horses.

Lizann’s children sit on a large boulder in a forested mountain area, smiling, with tall pine trees and rocky cliffs behind them

Look for military discounts everywhere. Programs such as Blue Star Museums offer free admission to museums and gardens for active-duty families during summer months. National parks provide free America the Beautiful passes for military members. Local zoos, aquariums and amusement parks frequently give ID-card discounts, so you should always ask.

Prioritize low-cost local adventures to stretch your dollars. Instead of a big trip, plan “staycations,” where you pack a picnic for a nearby park, visit free splash pads, hike local trails or host backyard game days with friends. Create a family bucket list of outings such as bowling or mini golf (often cheap on base), or fish at MWR ponds. You can try a “Friday Fun” rule: $20 max for the family to try something new locally, such as ice cream runs or playground hopping. Involve the kids in planning. They often love picking free activities and can feel proud when they help “save” money.

Budgeting isn’t about saying no to fun. Instead, it’s about saying yes in smarter ways that align with your priorities. By starting small now — setting those microbudgets, scouting out base activities and hunting discounts — you avoid summer sticker shock and focus on what matters. Things such as spending time together or exploring your local area will always be worthwhile. Military life throws enough curveballs, so let the warmer days be a season of joy instead of worry. Grab a notebook, list one free activity to try this week, and watch the stress melt away as the memories build.

Lizann’s children look at a canyon

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of personal finance resources and tools tailored to your needs.

Kristi’s husband embraces family.

Military Retirement: What We Kept, What We Lost, and What We’d Tell Others

Written By Kristi Stolzenberg

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about the military, it’s that the military loves protocol. If there’s an SOP (standard operating procedure) or custom, it’s either inked on a pamphlet somewhere or is explained by the most seasoned person in the room.

Kristi’s husband in a flight suit shares a joyful moment.

Birthday ball ceremony, change of command, reenlistment, promotion, retirement — there’s a protocol for that. This (false) confidence is what had this anxious, type A blogger cool as a cucumber on the last lap to retirement. Who needs a plan when the Marine Corps has one for us?

I eventually learned that retirement “expectations” — shall we call them that? — are loose as a goose. While this can equate to a heavier (or lighter, depending on what you prefer) workload for the retiree and their family, the chance to personalize the experience gave the day extra meaning.

Kristi’s family stands proudly during a formal recognition ceremony.

Traditions We Kept

  • Dress Code: Would my husband have preferred to show up in flip-flops and an untucked Hawaiian print shirt? Obviously, but he settled on a flight suit and encouraged attendees to wear the same (cammies, if they must) or the civilian equivalent. Did we care? No, but as someone who will waste hours trying to figure out what to wear to a given event, guidance is always appreciated.
  • Retirement Oath: Pretty self-explanatory, we kept this one by the book and let my husband’s retiring officer say a few words. My advice: Choose the retiring officer wisely (we sure did). There wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Opt for meaning over traditions or expectations.
  • Reception: It was casual and inclusive. There were drinks and a nonsensical assortment of appetizers because my husband catered with his heart.

Traditions We Kicked

  • The Expensive Cake: While I love supporting fellow military spouses, the cake occurred to me too late in the game. We decided against an elaborate fondant masterpiece and, instead, ordered five-dozen cupcakes. To anyone who ate one, I’d like to state that I had every intention of putting some sort of Marine decoration on it, but there weren’t enough hours in the day. Thank you for using your imagination!
  • The Flowers: I love a good flower arrangement, but I can promise they would’ve wilted by the time they made it to a water-filled vase.
  • The Donation in Lieu of Flowers: We all support something; we just didn’t see the need to remind everyone that we’re philanthropic.

Woman speaks into a microphone while reading from a red folder at a military ceremony.

Traditions We Made Our Own

  • Invitations: We saved time, paper and postage by sending beautiful invitations via email. There are all kinds of programs that let you follow templates or work from scratch, and it will track opens and RSVPs for you — one less thing on your to-do list!
  • Speeches: In addition to the retiring officer’s speech that had everyone reaching for tissues, my husband shared words of thanks, but between these two (retired) Marines, my husband asked me to speak. When I realized he wasn’t kidding, I jotted down a cool nine pages of things I’ve wanted to say for 17 years (then swapped some of the salt for sugar in the final draft). I couldn’t be prouder of him for thinking outside the box here and putting the spotlight back on family on his day. The military family is something we’ve both prioritized during his years of service, and it felt right to foot-stomp it on the way out.
  • Personalized Recognition: I must hand it to my husband and his fellow Marines on this one. I expected the usual “thank you for your service as a military spouse” and “military kids serve too,” but our son, daughter, and I all received individualized words of appreciation during the ceremony. I know I was touched, and judging by the crocodile tears from our daughter and lack of sarcasm from our son after the ceremony, they were moved too.
  • Retiree and Family Gifts: There’s no shortage of Facebook threads with advice on traditional and nontraditional gifts. Plenty of spouses will tell you they opted out of gifts because their years of support were gifts enough (valid). This one’s a choose-your-own-adventure. I would encourage you to do whatever feels meaningful to you because — guess what — no one else sees it anyway, so brush off any expectation of a “traditional gift.” Our family opted for a brick at the Museum of the Marine Corps and a trip to the Bahamas over anything else with the eagle, globe and anchor on it since our house recently inherited 20 years’ worth of plaques and awards. As for the rest of us, the kids each received a symbolic watch from a veteran-owned company, and I got a ring so perfect, it’s almost like I had the benefit of picking it out myself!
  • Program: Like any good ceremony, there was a program, but my husband’s fellow Marines (again) went above and beyond to add photos from his career (some of which I provided) as opposed to a more traditional look. It was perfect.

Family poses on a sandy beach with iguanas, enjoying tropical time together.

Final Thoughts

I’ll be honest, the retirement ceremony felt like a box to check on the way out. Instead, it was a ceremony that felt like “us.” It wasn’t stuffy or overly scripted. There were tears, laughs and hugs. And just as they did throughout my husband’s career, the people in the room and those there in spirit made it possible, made it bearable, and made it something we will always cherish. So, when it comes to retirement planning, here’s my advice: Make it feel like you — your spouse, your kids, your family — and you can’t go wrong.

Kristi hugs a man in a suit during a celebratory moment.

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of retiring resources and tools tailored to your needs.

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