Small group gathers with umbrellas in front of the Marine Corps War Memorial as a military member raises their right hand in oath.

Where Do You See Yourself in 10 Years?

Written By Kristi Stolzenberg

Four years ago, I was interviewing for a truly incredible job in the Department of the Air Force. It was something I never imagined myself doing — coordinating events between senior leaders and some of the most respected and influential defense and policy experts inside the Beltway of D.C. — but the kind of job you don’t pass up if you’ve been recommended for it.

The interview was going well, and then came the question that has military spouses so often shrugging their shoulders and making up a response that balances plausible and ambitious: Where do you see yourself in 10 years? In nearly 20 years of approaching that question as a military spouse — in fields from teaching to defense contracting to Air Force public affairs to nonprofit work — I’ve learned the formula.

1. State the Obvious (If It Feels Right)

We know the gamble, right? Do we come right out and out ourselves as a military spouse in the interview, knowing that they might just see a potential employee who won’t be around long? Or do we display our military spouse title for the asset it is?

Realistically, unless the job has remote capabilities, we won’t be in the seat long. But that is not representative of our loyalty. What we stand to gain by being open about being military spouses is all the following (and more):

  • Organization
  • Problem solving
  • Flexibility
  • Adaptability
  • Broad experience
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Motivation
  • Volunteer experience (especially covering any glaring resume gaps)

I wish I could tell you when to fly the military spouse flag and when to tuck it away until you’re signing paperwork with human resources, but we’re all pretty good at reading rooms — you’ll know if the time and the vibes are right.

2. Emphasize Your Ambition

This is where it gets to be a kind of “choose your own adventure” game. If you’ve opted to share your military spouse status, read here: Don’t be shy. Tell them what you intend to do in the next 10 years of your career and (and this is important) how this job is an important part of that plan. I would lead with something like, “I may not have the deciding say in ‘where’ on the map I will be, but I am determined to…”

Anyone not mentioning the whole military spouse thing, pick it up here: Don’t hold back, explain what your career goals are and how this role is an important (even long-term) step. The interviewer just doesn’t need to know your interpretation of “long-term” just yet.

No matter what, the life skills and soft skills you’ve learned as a military spouse have shaped you into an incredibly valuable hire. No matter how you spin it, make sure that it is clear.

Kristi’s family takes a selfie

The End

Just in time to craft the perfect answer to the 10-year-plan question, I’m losing a big part of it. In that Air Force interview, I responded with something like, “I may not be able to predict where I will be or what opportunities will be available, but I know for sure I will be working to support the military community — those who serve, their families and their survivors.”

Though not job hunting since we are staying put after retirement, I’m sure the day will come when that question arises — whether socially or professionally.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years when the military isn’t part of the equation?

It seems wild, right? If we weren’t factoring in at least one, two or a half-dozen moves to any number of places; what the job market might be (or, more often, not be at any place); or the natural way the military spouse seems to default to second priority, what would we be doing?

Personally, I don’t have that answer yet. My career has completely evolved in 17 years. I was a middle school English teacher and cheerleading coach when I became a military spouse. I now find myself as an editor at a national nonprofit by way of the Department of the Air Force’s Public Affairs and Legislative Liaison offices. I earned a master’s degree in political management. I’ve tutored students in math (perhaps the most anxiety-inducing). I’ve written this blog nearly the entire time — what a gift, but “blogger” wasn’t even a job when I picked a major.

If I’m daydreaming, in 10 years, I’d love to be writing best-selling novels from a window-facing desk in our little coastal cottage with our dog curled up at my feet. Our son and daughter (I hate imagining them grown, but I’m being brave here) live 10 minutes away doing what they love, and they call me all the time. My husband, the nearly 10-year Marine Corps veteran at that point, will be doing whatever it is that makes him happy.

Maybe it sounds far-fetched, but after proudly serving and supporting, I’m learning to accept that nothing is as crazy, impossible, or out of reach as it sounded when I got here so many years ago. I’m not the same me, and I’m betting neither are you.

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness and connection. Explore a range of education and employment resources and tools tailored to your needs.

Box of handwritten letters

Love Letters From Afar

Written By Lizann Lightfoot

Valentine’s Day can feel like a cruel joke when your spouse is halfway around the world on deployment or stuck at a training exercise many miles away. For me, those February 14ths during my husband’s five combat deployments often turned a day of hearts and flowers into one of lonely heartache. There were many times I felt angry, disappointed, jealous and just frustrated that military life interfered with our relationship.

Thankfully, we found a simple, old-school way to stay connected: letters. In an age of instant texts and video calls, there’s something powerful about putting pen to paper. After almost two decades as a Marine spouse, I’ve learned that love letters aren’t just romantic. They can be a lifeline that keeps your marriage strong across oceans and time zones.

This article shares small acts of love to give you something to look forward to while the days drag on. Whether you prefer writing “open when” letters or creating surprise video montages, use these simple heartfelt ideas to remind your service member they’re still your number one priority.

Box filled with handwritten letters, envelopes and journals

Why Letters Work When Everything Else Feels Far Away

Phone calls can get cut short by bad signal or duty. But a letter? It’s always ready when you need it. It is a love reminder that sits in a pocket, a backpack or a locker until the moment it’s needed most. My husband carried a stack of my letters during his deployments (sealed in a Ziploc bag to keep out the Afghani sand). I reread his letters regularly, especially during those desert deployments when phone calls were only every few weeks. The words lasted longer than a conversation ever could.

Letters also let you say things you might not say out loud. You can reflect on how you’re growing or reminisce about how much your relationship has evolved. You can write about how proud you are, how much you miss their laugh, or even the silly little things like what the dog or the kids did today. Those details make your partner feel seen and loved, even when they’re far away.

“Open When” Letters: Your Secret Weapon

The easiest way to start your own collection of love letters is with “open when” envelopes. Pick 8–10 simple moments, write a short letter for each one and seal them in envelopes labeled with the prompt. Here are some favorites that worked for us:

  • Open when you’re having a rough day
  • Open when you need a laugh
  • Open when you’re proud of yourself
  • Open when you’re feeling homesick
  • Open when you need to feel loved
  • Open when you’re coming home soon

Keep them short and sweet. Often, one page is perfect. Add a photo, a sticker, a meme you printed or a spritz of body spray. It turns a simple letter into a true gift. If writing feels hard, try a short video instead. Record yourself reading a message aloud.

Make It a Habit, Not Just a Holiday Thing

The real magic happens when you turn letter-writing into a regular habit. Set a goal to send one letter every week or every other week. Keep a small notebook by your bed to jot down funny things the kids say or moments you want to share. Not only will this help you both feel connected, but it will also wire your brain to reflect on the good, positive moments throughout your day. One military spouse friend calls this “hunting the good stuff.”

If you’re worried about running out of things to say, try these prompts:

  • What made you smile today?
  • What’s one thing you’re proud of this week?
  • Tell me about a dream you had.
  • What’s something you want to do together when you’re home?

These questions keep the letters light and loving instead of heavy or sad. When the mail arrives, you’ll feel closer to each other, even on ordinary days.

When the Distance Feels Too Big

Some days, the ache is real. You might cry while writing or worry that your words aren’t enough. That’s OK. Your service member feels it too. The fact that you’re still trying, still showing up in the mail, means everything. My husband and I each wrote tear-stained letters at one time. Now they are a beautiful part of our collection and our shared history.

Military marriage isn’t easy, but it’s built on moments like these. So, this Valentine’s Day (or any day), grab a pen, a stamp and a few envelopes. Write from the heart. Send love across the miles. Because even when time zones and deployments pull you apart, a simple letter can pull you right back together!

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of deployment resources and tools tailored to your needs.

Family stands on airfield watching military plane; Kristi hugs daughter

The Emotional “Last Flight” in the Marine Corps

Written By Kristi Stolzenberg

Sometime in August 2025, I hopped online to book my routine — yet always highly anticipated — haircut and color during my lunch break on Friday, Oct. 3. Then, a lot of life happened, as it does, until late September, when my husband relayed that his last flight in the C-130J was scheduled for the afternoon of — you guessed it — Friday, Oct. 3. No one was more disappointed than I was that I hadn’t seen this change of plans coming from a mile away — classic Marine Corps.

I canceled my appointment. I shook my head and rolled my eyes while doing it, but I canceled my appointment. We asked the kids if they’d like to miss an afternoon of school to watch Dad land the Herc one more time; we got one all-caps “YES!” from our middle schooler before we could get the words out and one cautious “OK” from our high schooler, who wanted to make sure we could return him to school afterward so he didn’t get behind or miss soccer practice.

And that was that. An otherwise normal day — I’d just pop out, pick up the kids from their respective schools, zip over to base, and be back before the end of the workday.

Military aircraft taxis under twin arcs of water in ceremonial return salute on airfield

Reality Check

As the day approached, I shared the date with my go-to text chain of two fellow Marine Corps friends who turned into family. You know those friends — they’ll go to bat for you without even knowing the details because you are always right, and when you’re wrong, they tell you.

One of these friends just happens to be local (not sarcastically: thanks, Marine Corps) and accepted the invitation to be there for the last flight with almost as much enthusiasm as our middle schooler. The friend on the other side of the country (sarcastically: thanks, Marine Corps) matched the enthusiasm and asked if I would have a photographer there.

Well, that honestly hadn’t occurred to me. For months, our family’s focus was on planning for the upcoming retirement. The last flight — even though we understood the significance — was more of a box to check versus a separate occasion. I assumed we’d be there, snap some pictures with our phones and carry on with our Friday.

I overthought it, as I do. And just to squash the what-ifs, I asked the photographer booked for the retirement — another fellow Marine spouse — if she could be there for the final flight too. I lathered the email in the typical way: I know it’s short notice, no worries if you can’t, just wanted to check, etc.

Turns out, she was available. Turns out, I am glad I asked.

Kristi’s military husband walks across runway beneath wing of large military aircraft, carrying gear bag

Smiling family poses in front of large military aircraft on sunny runway

Approach and Landing

Friday, Oct. 3, arrived. The kids went to school. My husband left for work. And I switched on my computer to start my workday.

I left when it was time to head to base and picked up both kids. Everything was going according to plan. We were even met at the squadron turnstile and swiped through without having to wave people down or text people in the building. Maybe not a first for me, but a rarity.

I made small talk with the kids, my in-laws, the photographer, and the friend I’d invited via text days earlier. It was uncharacteristically windy that day on the flightline — it seems I was never meant to have good hair that day. Conversations would pause as jets took off. It all felt so normal.

As the time approached, I watched as every instructor and student from my husband’s squadron filed onto the flight line.

To my left, the station fire trucks stood by, ready for the ceremonial water gun salute.

The buzz and the normalcy carried on without me as the significance of this moment started to hit me.

This was the very same flight line where I stood — absolutely freezing — waiting for my husband to return from Iraq. It was the same flight line where our now high schooler and I took photos together in front of the Herc, commemorating his first Christmas, the first of a few he would spend without his dad over the years. It was the same flightline where I stood with our son — both of us absolutely freezing . . . can a girl get a summer homecoming? — waiting for my husband to return from his second deployment.

Since then, there have been too many takeoffs and landings to count. Years of changing plans, moving, flexing, doing more with less, making friends, losing friends, all the best days, all the days that tried my patience — it was all about to be punctuated as soon as those wheels touched down one more time.

So there, in an admittedly poetic bookend moment, we waited for his plane to come into view.

When it did, my brain hopped in the backseat and my emotions took the wheel. I fidgeted with the charms on my necklaces as he approached and did his fancy banking maneuvers.

He touched down one last time in the Herc as planned. Tears pooled in my eyes (must have been the wind), and I let out an exhale that had been building for the past 17 years. Bittersweet — somehow too early and long overdue at the same time, it was over.

Even then, fully conscious of the significance, the moment flew by — a blur of activity, like so many milestones in life. But, forever, long after the little details fall out of the memory of that day, I can look at the photos, remember the butterflies in my stomach, pride in my heart, wind in my hair, and tears in my eyes.

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of  separating and retiring resources and tools tailored to your needs.

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