Group photo in front of the San Diego Zoo entrance and lion statue.

Best Friends for Life

Written By Lauren Hagee Glintz

I recently received a text from my friend, Eileen, who I hadn’t spoken to in a while. “Hey! I hope you’re doing well,” she texted. “I feel weird sending this out of the blue, but I thought you’d be interested.” She then provided the juiciest gossip about our former coworker. I couldn’t respond fast enough. “OMG,” I quickly typed, “Don’t feel weird sending me the most fascinating thing I’ve seen in a month! You can text me anytime and I’d love it, but this is particularly good!”

Lauren and bridesmaids posing under a floral arch beside a lake.

After my PCS move four years earlier, Eileen and I were no longer in a regular texting habit, but I was genuinely thrilled to see her name pop up on my phone. The reality is, I never stop loving my friends, even after one of us moves away.

PCS moves make this happen far more often than I’d like. I have to say goodbye to friends I love and who love me — people who shared my confidences, made me laugh, supported me and were central to my life. I am never ready to let go of them, and, frankly, I just won’t. We might not live close, but I will do my best to stay close.

My first line of friendship defense is, of course, texting and social media. I will text, like, comment and send memes with no hesitation to any friend, no matter how long it’s been since we last communicated. I know my reaction when I receive a meme from a friend: I love that something reminded them of me; I love that they thought to hit send, and I love the opportunity to connect even if only for a few seconds. I’ve decided to go through my life assuming all my friends feel the same, so I hit send with no self-consciousness. At least they know I thought of them.

I also believe in being an active group-text participant. One of my group chats, “MomTalk,” is a subset of a larger group: just those of us with young kids. We met in DC, but now we’re texting from DC, New Jersey, Illinois and North Carolina, laughing and commiserating about early motherhood. Today, I texted them a picture of my toilet with a big lizard hanging out in it. Although none of them could come to my actual aid, their reactions were funny (“Did your son try to keep it?”), and their support gave me the bravery to rescue the potty lizard. I didn’t feel quite so alone in that weird moment.

Small lizard inside a toilet bowl in a bathroom.

My true secret weapon, when it comes to keeping in touch, is the 20-minute phone call. Sometimes when a friend calls, I feel overwhelmed because I don’t have 90 minutes for a massive catch-up. But I started calling my sisters while driving to pick up my son from his pre-K, about 18 minutes from our house. The phone calls were perfect. The natural time limit took out the pressure to fully catch up, and we could just talk.

Then, in one of my larger group chats, a friend joked that they never needed the actual phone app. I responded that I make lots of calls because what do they expect me to do during pre-K drop-off and pickup? Sit with my own thoughts? I then jokingly sent my driving schedule and offered slots if anyone wanted to talk to me for 20 minutes. To my surprise, a friend I’d never been on personal call terms with took me up on it and claimed the next slot. When the day came, I called him as scheduled during my drive to pre-K. For 20 minutes, we chatted easily and laughed about the idiosyncrasies of our respective in-laws and discovered a shared love of 2010s indie music. It was fun, and I truly felt closer to him by the end of the call.

I won’t pretend that friendships stay the same following a PCS move, but they definitely do not end. Staying in touch can feel overwhelming, but I’ve found the reality is much simpler. A text takes a few seconds. A quick car ride can be a fun call. And friendship can be forever.

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of resources and tools tailored to your needs.

Person writing in a notebook beside a laptop, coffee cup, and glasses on a wooden desk, viewed from above.

How Constant Change Shaped the Life I Didn’t Know I Was Building

Written By

For years, my life felt like a series of starts and stops. Just when I began to find my rhythm, something would change. A new duty station, a deployment, or a season where my family needed more from me than anything else.

So, I adapted.

During quieter times, I picked up work where I could. I taught English remotely early in the mornings, took on data entry projects, and said yes to temporary roles that fit into the small pockets of time I had available. These jobs weren’t always long-term, and they didn’t always connect, but they worked for the life I was living.

And when work didn’t fit, I found other ways to show up. I volunteered with the unit, in my children’s school, and within our local community. I stepped into whatever was needed, even when it didn’t look like progress on paper.

Then, just as things started to feel steady, I would step away again.

I remember one season clearly. My husband was preparing for a deployment, and everything at home shifted. The routines, the emotions, the weight of holding things together. Work became something I quietly set down without question, because I knew where I was needed most.

At the time, it felt like I was constantly falling behind. Like everyone else was building something stable, and I was just trying to keep up.

Looking back, I can see that none of it was wasted.

Every job, every volunteer role, every season of starting over was teaching me something. I learned how to step into unfamiliar environments and figure things out quickly. I learned how to support others without needing recognition. I learned how to stay organized and keep things moving, even when life felt anything but steady.

More than anything, I learned how to adapt. I learned how to hold structure where I could and let go where I needed to. I learned how to manage multiple responsibilities while still being present for my family. I learned how to keep going, even when there wasn’t a clear path in front of me.

At the time, it didn’t feel like I was building anything. It just felt like doing what needed to be done.

Over time, those experiences began to come together. Not all at once, but slowly. I started to notice patterns in what I was naturally drawn to. The behind-the-scenes work. The organizing, the problem-solving, the steady presence in the middle of things that felt overwhelming.

What once felt scattered started to feel connected.

The jobs that didn’t last. The volunteer roles that didn’t come with a title. The seasons where my focus shifted completely to my family. They were all part of something. I just couldn’t see it yet.

Military life doesn’t always allow for a traditional path. It asks you to pause when you don’t want to, to pivot when you feel settled, and to choose your family over and over again. For a long time, I saw that as something that set me back.

Now, I see it differently.

It shaped me in ways a straight path never could. It taught me resilience, patience, and flexibility. It taught me how to build a life that works in the middle of change, not just when things feel stable.

If you’re in a season where things feel disconnected or uncertain, I want you to know this: there is purpose in it, even if you can’t see it yet.

The job that only lasted a few months, the volunteer role you said yes to, the season where everything shifted and your plans had to wait. It all matters.

You are learning. You are growing. You are building something that may not make sense right now but will one day.

I used to think I needed a clear plan for my life to come together. Now I know that sometimes it comes together in the looking back, in seeing how each season, each role, each unexpected turn shaped you into who you needed to become.

Military life didn’t give me a straight path, but it gave me something deeper. It gave me perspective, strength, and a quiet appreciation for every step that brought me here, even the ones that didn’t make sense at the time.

Michelle is an operations strategist and military spouse who built her career through years of adapting to the unpredictable rhythm of military life. With a background shaped by remote work, community involvement, and constant transition, she brings a grounded perspective on creating structure in uncertain seasons. Her work centers on helping others navigate the “in-between” with clarity and intention. Michelle is passionate about sharing honest reflections that remind others their path still holds purpose, even when it doesn’t look the way they expected.

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness and connection. Explore a range of spouse resources and tools tailored to your needs.

Neutral-toned bedroom with a tufted upholstered bed, layered decorative pillows, matching wooden nightstands, and natural light from two windows.

Splurge or Save: A Military Spouse’s Guide to Home Furnishing

Written By Sydney Smith

As a military family, you will most likely move every few years — which means so will all your belongings and household goods. It can really serve military families well to be strategic about what home items to splurge on versus save on. Determining factors can include practicality, durability, flexibility, sizing, etc. When considering a new piece of furniture or a refresh in home decor, you should ask yourself, “Is this PCS practical?” In other words, will this item move well? Is it well made? Can it work in a variety of housing layouts? For instance, a huge sectional couch that doesn’t have modular functionality can pose a big problem for families. I remember being gifted a very large L-shaped couch off our wedding registry, and the regret came almost immediately as we found ourselves house hunting based on which homes our couch would work in. A lot of homes were ruled out because of our couch, and this was a really unfortunate situation I don’t wish on anyone else!

Below, I have included a list of “splurge” items and a list of “save” items. Of course, everyone is going to have their own opinions and priorities when it comes to furnishing and decorating a home, but I can promise that my suggestions are based on personal experience as we are in our fifth military home — and practicality is my first and only priority here.

Splurge on:

  1. A flexible couch: I suggest a modular sectional with washable covers. Don’t let a couch decide your house is a good mantra here. Spending a little more on a couch that can work in a variety of spaces will save you a major headache later. Modular couches also move well, as they are usually constructed in individual seats that can be wrapped and stacked.
  2. Solid wood furniture: Choose quality when searching for dressers, cabinets and tables. Moves are extremely hard on furniture, and I have always regretted getting the cheap particle board furniture. They usually don’t last more than one or two moves, if that.
  3. A mattress: Your mattress is your safe place … where you come to for comfort at the end of each day. It goes with you wherever you move, and you should relish in your mattress. My husband and I refer to our bed as “the cloud” and it immediately makes our new house feel like home.
  4. Appliances in the kitchen: Get that espresso machine. Buy that fancy smoker. You can use these things in any home, and if they bring you joy — it’s simple. Splurge.

Save on:

  1. Curtains and rods: Every house has its own window lengths, heights and quantities. There is just no point in trying to buy high-quality matching curtains for each house. Get the cheapest thing you can stand and don’t plan for longevity. The curtains you buy for one house likely won’t work in the next.
  2. Rugs: I suggest buying cheap rugs and throwing them out every few years when you move. It can be such a refreshing touch to a new home to lay down some new rugs. Rugs can get gross pretty quickly, with heavy foot traffic, kids and pets. Purchase rugs for the spaces you need in each home. Don’t try and find your “forever rugs” for a not-forever home. Settle for the thinner, less durable ones that still add the homey touch you’re going for.
  3. Outdoor items: Every porch, patio and yard will be so different in every house you live in. In fact, none of these things are even guaranteed. It’s OK to want to fill the space where you live and get some cheap secondhand rockers for your front porch that gets the morning sun or some comfy loungers in the backyard while your kids play. You might want to search for a used trampoline a moving neighbor is getting rid of. It’s just not practical to invest in these large purchases when you don’t know if they’ll be functional in your next home. One of my favorite patio “hacks” is putting up a folding table with a cute tablecloth and some stacking chairs. It makes eating outside with the family on nice evenings possible — without breaking the bank.
  4. Trendy/thematic décor: My best advice here is to focus on color schemes you like and timeless decor like framed photos and sentimental pieces. If you get caught up in the theme of where you’re living (i.e. coastal decor when living in Florida), you will most likely be throwing out or donating a lot of those items in just a few years. Simple really is best here. Strive for a timeless home with things that have meaning and bring you joy.

These are far from exhaustive lists, and as I said earlier — to each his own on this topic. This is just a bit of “military spouse wisdom” I have to offer after just under 10 years or living this life — and I hope it can help others who are just starting this journey into military life, or maybe just the journey of simplifying their next PCS.

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of PCS resources and tools tailored to your needs.

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