Snow-covered backyard viewed through large windows during a winter storm.

The Military Retirement Heads Up I Didn’t Know I Needed

Written By Kristi Stolzenberg

I was a junior high school English teacher when I met my husband. Since then, I’ve been a blogger, newspaper columnist, tutor, writer, editor, volunteer, board member, intern, grad student, full-time mom, magazine editor, congressional liaison and a think tank program manager.

I’ve been unemployed, underemployed, government-employed, part-time and full-time employed and self-employed. Sometimes these choices were mine; other times, the Marine Corps or motherhood made them for me.

When I met my husband, he was training to be a U.S. Marine Corps pilot. He earned his wings, and for the rest of his 20-year career, he flew planes for the Marine Corps (or worked in USMC pilot production — so pilot-adjacent).

When he retired from the Corps in 2025, he did what many retiring military pilots do: He secured a job with an airline. He earned his wings and qualified to fly 737s. The change was uncomfortable for us all in some way, but that’s the thing about changes. New routines are supposed to be a little uncomfortable, and if there’s one thing a military family knows how to do, it’s embracing the … slightly less than ideal circumstances.

I watched my husband earn his wings via Zoom. Sure, I wanted to be there — even had a first-class ticket — but a freak snowstorm in coastal Carolina kept me home. Yawn — I saw that disappointment coming a mile away.

Electronic control board.

While he was away earning his 737 qualification, our garage door broke, locked in the down position … right when I needed to leave to pick our daughter up from school … obviously. Primed for moments such as this, I pulled that little red handle to disengage the motor and lift the door manually. When even that didn’t work, I forced that garage door open one click at a time until I couldn’t be sure if those clicks were coming from the door’s track or my knees and back. With the help of a step ladder, I finally pushed the door high enough so that my SUV could clear it. And you know what, I wasn’t even the last car in line for pickup.

Upstairs hallway with piles of laundry scattered across the floor.

A day later, our washing machine wanted in on the action, deciding it was no longer interested in running the spin cycle. Please, that’s not even a challenge. I just draped dripping laundry all over the laundry room and bathrooms. Things got a little gnarly at our house around the third day of dual appliance failure.

After trying and failing to lower our garage door, the repairman simply never returned and stopped taking my calls. The washing machine repairman solved the problem twice. Neither worked. So, now my washing machine was in pieces, the garage door was wide open to wildlife and prying eyes, and I started worrying the vein on my forehead would never recede to its normal size.

Not at all comfortable, but we were making it work.

Then, my husband would call when he finished with his training for the day. Pilot spouses, you know these conversations can go two ways: he’s having a great time, crushing coursework and thriving (ideal, but annoying while I’m feeling like the dog in the “this is fine” meme), or he hates it (not good, now no one is having fun).

His situation was the latter. He was making the grades but not loving the lifestyle. Not loving being away from home for weeks with a future of being gone constantly after he just finished his career at that pace.

I did the only obvious thing there was to do: I gave him encouragement and tough love while I did laundry in our bathtub, triple-checked the garage-entry door every night, and nursed my daughter through Flu B (oh, yeah, that also happened).

Not a complainer by nature (or nurture — a Marine, after all), I knew we had a problem when the tough love didn’t work.

What I Didn’t See Coming

He returned, winged and qualified (and no one here is shocked that all the appliances were suddenly repaired and our daughter’s fever broke). And he returned, knowing this job wasn’t for him. So, where tough love failed, I gave him my support.

By the end of that week, he’d officially resigned and had a start date as a government-contracted instructor close to home. His stress practically melted away before my eyes, and he even started laughing at my always-dry, always-hilarious humor again (phew).

So, what did I learn?

  1. If the cost is comparable, just buy a new washer instead of getting the broken one repaired.
  2. Parents have superhuman strength — enough to lift a car (or a garage door) to get to their kids.
  3. Murphy’s Law lives on after military separation.
  4. And, most importantly, the retirement plan may change. The first job might not be THE job. He might have to try on a few second careers to find one he wants and find out what he doesn’t want.

I didn’t see that last one coming, despite my own kaleidoscope career. It’s the one thing I would tell any military spouse whose service member is approaching retirement. It may take a couple of tries, but they’ll find the right fit.

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of retiring resources and tools tailored to your needs.

Rows of backpacks with tags attached, organized for distribution.

Back-to-School for Military Teens

Written By Lizann Lightfoot

My military kids didn’t mind changing schools when they were little. It meant new friends, fresh playgrounds, fun adventures. But once they hit middle school, that all changed. After multiple PCS moves with five kids, I’ve seen how much harder the transition becomes once they reach middle and high school. Fewer on-base school options mean most teens attend off-base public schools. Joining sports teams or finding a solid friend group takes more effort, and fighting for education continuity — especially with IEPs and credit transfers across state lines — can feel like a full-time job for their parents. These years are already emotionally intense. Adding frequent moves makes them even tougher. But with the right support and proactive steps, you can help your teens start the year feeling more secure and connected.

One of the biggest frustrations for many military teens going into a new middle school or high school is the loss of continuity. What counted as an honors class or required credit in one state might not line up in another. IEPs that worked perfectly at the last school can suddenly need re-evaluation, leaving gaps in services. This is where two key resources become essential: your installation’s School Liaison Program and the Military Interstate Children’s Compact Commission.

School liaisons are your strongest advocate during a PCS. They understand military life and can connect you with the new school district before you even arrive. Contact your current school liaison as soon as you have orders. They can reach out to the liaison at your next installation to help with school selection, credit transfers, class registration and placement. Many liaisons also provide information about extracurricular programs and can make introductions to help your teen get involved in sports or clubs quickly. Don’t wait until after you move. Starting these conversations early can prevent weeks of stress.

Lizann’s smiling son holding a "First Day of School" sign while seated at a desk with a laptop.

MIC3, the Interstate Compact, exists specifically to protect military kids from being penalized by frequent moves. All 50 states and the District of Columbia participate. It helps with enrollment, placement and graduation requirements. For teens with IEPs or 504 plans, the compact requires the new school to provide comparable services until they can complete a new evaluation. For credits and graduation, it can help waive certain local requirements or find alternative ways for your child to meet standards if they move during junior or senior year. Familiarize yourself with MIC3’s parent guide and bring it to meetings with school counselors. Having this information ready shows you know your rights and helps move things along faster.

Lizann’s daughter playing a violin in a living room.

Social and extracurricular challenges hit teens especially hard. They’re at an age where friendships and belonging matter deeply, yet they’re often the “new kid” right before homecoming, prom or sports tryouts. Many teens hesitate to put themselves out there because they know another move could be coming. Encourage your teen to join at least one activity early — whether it’s a club, theater, band or sports team. Even if they don’t make varsity, being part of something helps them find their people. Some schools have Student 2 Student programs specifically designed to welcome military-connected students.

Open, honest family conversations make a big difference. Acknowledge that this move is hard. Let your teen express frustration about leaving friends or starting over without jumping straight to “You’ll make new ones.” Share your own feelings about the move too, because it models healthy emotional processing. Consider a family tradition of “rose, thorn and bud” conversations at dinner: one good thing, one hard thing and one thing we’re looking forward to. It creates space for real talk without forcing positivity.

Practical tips that helped our family:

  • Visit the new school together before classes start if possible.
  • Ask for a campus tour and introductions to key staff.
  • Get copies of your teen’s transcripts, test scores and current IEP/504 plan organized in a digital folder.
  • Reach out to coaches or club advisors in advance with a short email introducing your child and their experience.
  • Connect with other military families at the new base. Many have teens who’ve been through the same thing and can offer advice or friendship.

Military OneSource can also support you through this transition. Their consultants can provide guidance on talking with schools and emotional support for both you and your teen.

Raising military teens means watching them develop incredible resilience while also protecting them from unnecessary hardship. By advocating through school liaisons and MIC3, supporting their social efforts, and keeping communication open, you help them build confidence despite the moves.

This school year won’t be perfect, but it can still be meaningful. Your teen is stronger than they realize, and so are you. With preparation and support, they can walk into this new chapter feeling seen, supported and ready to grow.

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of parenting resources and tools tailored to your needs.

Group photo in front of the San Diego Zoo entrance and lion statue.

Best Friends for Life

Written By Lauren Hagee Glintz

I recently received a text from my friend, Eileen, who I hadn’t spoken to in a while. “Hey! I hope you’re doing well,” she texted. “I feel weird sending this out of the blue, but I thought you’d be interested.” She then provided the juiciest gossip about our former coworker. I couldn’t respond fast enough. “OMG,” I quickly typed, “Don’t feel weird sending me the most fascinating thing I’ve seen in a month! You can text me anytime and I’d love it, but this is particularly good!”

Lauren and bridesmaids posing under a floral arch beside a lake.

After my PCS move four years earlier, Eileen and I were no longer in a regular texting habit, but I was genuinely thrilled to see her name pop up on my phone. The reality is, I never stop loving my friends, even after one of us moves away.

PCS moves make this happen far more often than I’d like. I have to say goodbye to friends I love and who love me — people who shared my confidences, made me laugh, supported me and were central to my life. I am never ready to let go of them, and, frankly, I just won’t. We might not live close, but I will do my best to stay close.

My first line of friendship defense is, of course, texting and social media. I will text, like, comment and send memes with no hesitation to any friend, no matter how long it’s been since we last communicated. I know my reaction when I receive a meme from a friend: I love that something reminded them of me; I love that they thought to hit send, and I love the opportunity to connect even if only for a few seconds. I’ve decided to go through my life assuming all my friends feel the same, so I hit send with no self-consciousness. At least they know I thought of them.

I also believe in being an active group-text participant. One of my group chats, “MomTalk,” is a subset of a larger group: just those of us with young kids. We met in DC, but now we’re texting from DC, New Jersey, Illinois and North Carolina, laughing and commiserating about early motherhood. Today, I texted them a picture of my toilet with a big lizard hanging out in it. Although none of them could come to my actual aid, their reactions were funny (“Did your son try to keep it?”), and their support gave me the bravery to rescue the potty lizard. I didn’t feel quite so alone in that weird moment.

Small lizard inside a toilet bowl in a bathroom.

My true secret weapon, when it comes to keeping in touch, is the 20-minute phone call. Sometimes when a friend calls, I feel overwhelmed because I don’t have 90 minutes for a massive catch-up. But I started calling my sisters while driving to pick up my son from his pre-K, about 18 minutes from our house. The phone calls were perfect. The natural time limit took out the pressure to fully catch up, and we could just talk.

Then, in one of my larger group chats, a friend joked that they never needed the actual phone app. I responded that I make lots of calls because what do they expect me to do during pre-K drop-off and pickup? Sit with my own thoughts? I then jokingly sent my driving schedule and offered slots if anyone wanted to talk to me for 20 minutes. To my surprise, a friend I’d never been on personal call terms with took me up on it and claimed the next slot. When the day came, I called him as scheduled during my drive to pre-K. For 20 minutes, we chatted easily and laughed about the idiosyncrasies of our respective in-laws and discovered a shared love of 2010s indie music. It was fun, and I truly felt closer to him by the end of the call.

I won’t pretend that friendships stay the same following a PCS move, but they definitely do not end. Staying in touch can feel overwhelming, but I’ve found the reality is much simpler. A text takes a few seconds. A quick car ride can be a fun call. And friendship can be forever.

Blog Brigade unites military spouses by creating a community built on shared experiences and mutual support. Navigating the complexities of military life can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Military OneSource offers valuable resources focused on well-being, readiness, and connection. Explore a range of resources and tools tailored to your needs.

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