Overseas Adventures: Repurposing Areas of Your Home

February 8th, 2012

Melissa

I thought we had downsized enough before our overseas move, but it turns out I was wrong…dead wrong!

While we were stationed in Northern Virginia we had the typical home for the area: 4 bedrooms with a formal living room, family room, a cook’s dream of a kitchen, and ample storage space. Apparently in the three years we were there, I took all the empty space as a green light to fill it up with fantastic decorating finds. When we got our orders to move to Okinawa, I was realistic and knew that moving overseas was not going to offer us such spacious accommodations.  I was so proud of myself for carefully researching possible housing options noting what household items would be appropriate to take, and which ones should be left behind.   It seemed that every house I saw online had a decent sized kitchen with adequate cabinet space. Since I enjoy cooking, I took these photographs as permission to pack the majority of our kitchen items.

Enter reality. When we did a walkthrough of our new house I was immediately alarmed at the size of the kitchen. Literally it is a one-person only space, and if you open the refrigerator door or oven, that space quickly disappears. With only two full above the counter cabinets, a lazy susan corner cabinet, and a handful of drawers, I wondered where I would put my cake pans, bakeware, pots and pans, and various gadgets. On moving day, as our movers kept unloading boxes labeled “Kitchen Items” into my matchbox sized kitchen, my panic and stress level kept rising. My ever so calm husband assured me that I am a great organizer and that l would find a place for everything. Since I am that weird person who typically enjoys unpacking, I thought that maybe he was right. Maybe I wouldn’t have to burn all the unopened boxes to make them disappear, but I knew that I needed to research storage options…. immediately.

Fortunately, I was not facing this challenge alone. After all, the majority of the housing options off the installation did not provide roomy kitchen accommodations either.  I decided to head out into the local community and explore storage options used by Okinawans. I was amazed at the ingenuity of some of the items I found available in stores! Suction cup shelving and storage hooks (and they don’t fall down!!!), under cabinet baskets to add to cabinet space, and magnet containers are just a few of the treasures I discovered. I rushed back home with my new purchases eager to make everything work.

Since real estate space in our kitchen is at a premium, I carefully organized our essential items to strategically create the perfect kitchen “triangle,” (ok, so in this case it is really a kitchen line, no room for a triangle). I still had a plethora of frequently used items leftover that needed to find a home.  After some careful deliberation, we decided to purchase a dining room sideboard to make up for the lack of cabinet space.  This piece of furniture helped immensely, but I was still left with the dilemma about where to put occasionally used items like our giant slow cooker, trifle bowl, and cake keeper. We decided that as undesirable as it may seem, these items would need to be stored in our spare bedroom closet.

The kitchen wasn’t our only space problem. We have the typical military gear collection, my craft arsenal, small fitness equipment items, holiday decorations, and random office items that needed to be organized and put away. I like to keep items like this easily accessible so they do not fall into the trap of “out of sight, out of mind.” With this guiding thought, we decided to make the storage space under our staircase into a craft/office supply storage area. A few storage drawer units and totes from AAFES later and it looked like a respectable space.

We arranged our guest bedroom into zones to accommodate our storage needs. One zone for actual guest bedroom amenities like the bed and night stand, another for office peripherals like the file cabinet, bookcase, and small desk, and finally a zone for fitness items.  Next, we carefully loaded the military gear into the spare bedroom closet alongside the random kitchen items. We just hope future visitors do not mind our multitasking space!

Are our storage solutions Ideal? No. Functional? Yes, and that is all that matters. Of course our overseas home isn’t going to be featured as a spread in decorator magazine anytime soon, but it works for our needs while we are here.  I believe that all military spouses must have been blessed with the ability to make any house a home, and, lucky us, we get the chance to hone and perfect this skill with every PCS. Making an organized home happen overseas just required a little flexibility and creativity.

Eating Healthy on Sports Nights

February 1st, 2012

Kelli

My life is divided into sports seasons. I think it’s ironic considering the only sport I ever really attempted on my own was track, and that was only because this very cute senior football player who was doing the shot put. As soon as the real running started and the cute senior football player started dating a cute senior girl, the coach and I realized my talents were better suited for the theatre class.

Now I find myself the mother of athletically inclined children. Mix in a career, deployments, church, school, after school stuff, and six children, here is what you get: a lot of fast food eaten in the “swagger wagon,” the name the Lacrosse kids affectionately gave my minivan.

During a deployment in 2005, things really started falling apart with our diet. The deployment in 2007 was the nail in our healthy living coffin. By the time I came up for air, I was twenty pounds heavier and my two youngest children had no idea food could come out of our own kitchen and not just from a window next to a speaker box.

So here are some suggestions I’ve gathered from some of my personal heroes and mentors, other military spouses with swagger wagons.

Freezer Meals

Take an afternoon every two weeks or so and pre-make several meals. Part of our problem is that we are so tightly scheduled as families these days we do not have time to prepare healthy meals each day. “Fast food” doesn’t have to be from a window. It can be from your freezer.

Here is another take on the freezer meal idea. Find four or five friends willing to participate and once a month, or however often your group decides; make five or six freezer meals, all the same, one for each family participating and your own. Exchange with all the other participants, keeping one for you. You now have six nights worth of dinners, all different, and you didn’t cook them all or have to come up with six different ideas, only one. While occasionally you may find your family less than thrilled with a meal, odds are it won’t be very often. Choose your freezer meal friends wisely…

Another problem I have is forgetting to eat until I am starving beyond reason and am forced to go for the fries and soda. You’d think I’d weigh less forgetting to eat. Not so, the fries keep me sturdy. Whip up a batch of chicken breasts, vegetables, and brown rice, divide into healthy weight management targeted portions, and pop your new fast food into small freezer bags and into your freezer. Pop it in the microwave for a few minutes, add some fat free Pico de Gallo to flavor it, and viola! You have saved your scales and your heart from the fatal fries. Oddly enough, my kids started sneaking them after school too!

Meals on Wheels

Okay so what about the afternoons you never get out of your car or back home until after eight o’clock at night? The swagger wagon ice chest! Ice packs thrown in with water bottles, juice boxes, sandwiches, and other after school snacks are in easy reach as kids climb in after school and you drive off to various activities, lessons, and meetings. To avoid too much complaining about the contents, have your kids select and prepare the “meals on wheels” items. When they complain they want a “double something” and a shake instead of what the ice chest holds, remind them they were involved in selecting the contents.

This is wonderful opportunity for our kids to develop and exercise critical thinking skills. Guide them through the process of planning for the day or week. Ask them questions like, “Tomorrow, what do you have after school? What time do you eat lunch/snack at school? When will you be home to eat again? What do you have to do before you get home? What can you fix or put in the swagger wagon ice chest that is reasonable?”

Example of when parents need to “guide.” The suggestion was a bag of skittles before a football game. I asked my 9-year-old son, “what if it makes you sick and you throw up on the field?” He thoughtfully said he would point at it and tell the opposing team’s players to “taste the rainbow.” That’s the same kid who cleaned out my fridge.

Child-led, parent-guided; it’s painful but will pay off in the long run when they learn prior planning and preparation and develop healthy life habits.

Crock-Pots, Roasters, and Rice Cookers! Oh MY!

If you don’t have these items go out and buy them immediately! I met an active duty Army physician and mom in Texas. She opened my eyes to the joys of a crock pot. Frozen boneless, skinless chicken thighs with a bottle of oyster sauce dumped over it, bam. Set your rice cooker on a timer or add water and start it as soon as you walk in the door. Oh yeah… that’s what I‘m talking about. I don’t remember if there was a vegetable involved, but some rice cookers have a steamer tray to steam vegetables at the same time.

Sharing meals is an important family ritual and since reality hasn’t caught up with the science fiction shows depicting fully prepared meals appearing out thin air, we have to resist the temptation of all the windows lined up on Main Street luring us with their golden fries. Your family’s health and your bank account will thank you for it!

Road to Retirement: Planning for the Coming Year

January 30th, 2012

Kelli

Where do I begin? Literally I’m asking that question as I stand looking at the chaos that is the result of the holidays, children out of school, and a husband on a holiday work schedule. It can all be too much and exhausting. Did I mention I really need a nap?

I’ve been thinking about my plan for the upcoming year. I will first need to make a list. I love lists. I use lists a lot, but I typically lose them. However, they help me to initially organize my thoughts.

 

 

I think these are the areas I am going to focus on:

  • Reduction
    • Debt
    • Weight (mine)
    • Household clutter
  • Increase
    • Savings
    • Retirement savings (or at least start it (deep sigh…)
    • Muscle
  • Planning
    • Retirement (what does that even look like?)
    • Christmas

There is more I could put down, but why go crazy? The whole retirement thing on my list gives me angina. However, the other things are good. The fact I am trying to lose weight and build muscle means I have to stop feeding myself and my family at all the drive-through windows in town and actually grocery shop and prepare meals. This directly benefits reducing debt and increasing savings because it is not cost effective to eat at windows. I figure if I can multi-task on some of my goals, I’ll be successful somewhere. Okay… this is looking possible.

The good news is because we are still active duty and live near an installation there are some great programs and resources to help with most of my categories. The bad news is I have a feeling retirement will creep up on us like the last twenty-six years in the military have. Fast, furious, and making me wonder exactly where all the time went. I have this foreboding feeling.

I just read over my categories and I’ve revised them:

  • Reduce something
  • Increase something else
  • Plan Christmas

Seriously. Why do I want to set myself up for failure? Just reading that list made me realize I am not super woman and is making that nap look way more appealing. How many New Year’s resolutions get dropped by the wayside on January 31st? I need some success.

Maybe I really do need to focus on retirement.  Getting things ready and preparing for the life-changing transition. I’m not sure exactly what that implies. Everyone says you need to start preparing two years out. That’s difficult because you are still in the heart active duty life and all that brings to your family, yet you have to start figuring out how to disengage from that and prepare to live differently.

Not an easy task, mentally anyway. I don’t even know what differently means. I think I’m starting to sweat. So I asked my very smart friend who has already gone through retirement. She answered me with a series of questions I need to be asking.

  • Where are we going to live?
  • What kind of work do we want to do?
  • What do we want the next relationship with our service to look like?
  • What do want the next phase of our life to look like?

Her parting comment shot straight to my gut and turned my foreboding feelings into just plain panic: “Until you answer those questions you are not doing the work to get ready.”

OH MY GOSH, I really need a nap now. I can’t answer those by myself. I have to talk to… the husband. I don’t want to talk to him. He and I don’t necessarily see eye to eye. I want to live on a ranchette in Texas. He just wants to find a job. Why can’t a ranchette be a job?

So I’ve revised my list again:

  •  Talk to the husband

At least that is a New Year’s resolution I can keep. The rest of it… Well, I have a whole year and I will get started right away, but first… the nap.

A Day in the Life: Fitting In at a New Duty Station

January 26th, 2012

Kristi

If we learned anything in elementary school, it’s that making friends is awkward. To make matters worse, our go to friend-making tactics from those days are no longer socially acceptable. If we plopped down at a stranger’s lunch table now and asked if we could trade our pudding cup for their tater tots, then cut right to the chase and invited them to a slumber party Saturday night, we’d surely get some strange looks.

Now, as adults in the military community, the stress of making friends and fitting in is still there, and no one is necessarily better at bypassing the awkward introductions.  We seek friendships because, now that we’re just slightly older and infinitely wiser than our elementary school selves, we understand the value of a friend. Friends, acquaintances, and even that nice lady we met that one time, help us thrive at our duty station. The members of our military family become our shoulders to cry on, our occasional dinner dates, our confidants, and our occasional means of transportation in a pinch.

Welcome Wagon?

Just as I was beginning to believe that a real welcome wagon was an urban legend, I got a knock at my door. I opened the door and found a cheerful woman holding a basket of freebies and brochures. We talked for nearly an hour and I scored a free toothbrush, but that’s really all I remember about her visit. She had some great recommendations, but after living in this community for several months I’d already found my favorite restaurants and a good dentist. This small town welcome wagon is a great idea with good intentions, but, as my situation demonstrates, if you wait for the knock at your door before venturing out to discover new places and faces, you might be waiting a while…or indefinitely.

As the new addition to any duty station, it’s your job to get out the door and get involved. Don’t depend on someone to come and knock on your door and take you under wing. The possibility of that happening is slightly higher in a military community because military families are just that great, but I’ve found that it’s easier and more efficient to take matters into your own hands. Volunteer on your installation, at your child’s school, or in the community; attend a spouse function; or, if working, take the time to get to know your coworkers. Most people are more than happy to extend a hospitable hand when they find out that you’re new to the area, but you have to take the first step and show up!

It’s a Small World, After All

The sooner you realize that the military community is like a small town scattered all over the world, the better off you’ll be. When we moved to our first duty station, I had visions of chopping all my hair off and becoming a new and improved version of myself. Did that work? No. I cut my hair, but that was about the only thing that changed. In fact, the first person I met at this duty station was through an old friend. Meeting up with this friend of a friend was still a little weird; I felt almost as if I was being set up on a blind date, but she and her husband became great friends to my husband and me, and they are now my son’s Godparents! You just never know who you’re going to meet.

Don’t be afraid to take advantage of the military community network. If you move somewhere where a friend of a friend is stationed, use that relationship to your advantage. You already know that you have one mutual interest, your mutual friend; that’s a great springboard for conversation and a lot more interesting than spending ten minutes fake smiling and talking about the weather.

On the flip side, realize that with all the bonuses of the small town dynamic there are challenges, too. We know by now that, unlike elementary school, we don’t have to get along with everyone. Not everyone in the group is going to be our best friend, and that’s OK. People have different interests and personality traits, so it’s only natural that we mesh better with certain people. While we might not be cut out to be best friends for life with everyone we meet in the military community, there’s no reason to be a walking, talking rumor mill with a bad attitude. Be careful not to fall into the habit of gossiping about other spouses; it sounds easy, but it’s harder to stick to when you’re surrounded by people who are doing it. At the risk of sounding cliché, remember that life lesson from Bambi, “If you can’t say something nice…don’t say nothing at all.” If you happen to run into someone who you just don’t mesh with, just treat it like a professional relationship; be civil, be courteous, and leave it at that. Focus your time on people who respect you and who you respect.

Big Picture

When you gather the courage to get out there and meet folks (again), remember that it’s never as painful as you think it’s going to be. Fitting in and making new friends at a new duty station is intimidating for everyone, not just you; that should take the edge off and level the playing field a bit. Just be you, and by the time you leave a duty station you’ll surely have great memories and the awkward introductions won’t be one of them.